Friday, January 16, 2009

I think I might have had a slight breakdown.

This whole IVF gig should be old hat by now and I should roll with the punches. I know that and usually I do or at least I try to. I have no clue what came over me, but I think I might have had a slight breakdown earlier this evening. *sigh* I even got testy with Jeff when he was trying to give me my evening shot. I feel awful about that, but damn it hurt. I just get so tired of doctor's appointments and shots and schedules. My hips are already knotting and usually that doesn't happen until much further in the game. I can't help but wonder if our four previous IVFs have caused scar tissue or something. I just wish we could be normal. All of this and no guarantee for a real live healthy baby. It just really pisses me off and I guess it got the best of me tonight. Perhaps I just need to take a deep breath and focus on the positive. For instance, my ultrasound is showing a handful of follies on each side and my bloodwork looked good. I'll go back Monday for next ultrasound/bloodwork.

Also, I've really been thinking the whole bedrest thing after transfer. My RE requires 3 days of strict bedrest. However, I read that research shows this makes no difference. I'm curious of what everyone else does. Go over to the left side of my blog and take the poll if you don't mind!


**I am grateful for
1) a good appointment
2) a quite evening
3) Jeff is camping with his dad, he loves it
4) 13 pokes down (thank God)
5) so far, so good... for the most part


AmandaHoyt said...

I'm praying for you, Kahla.

The Baker's said...

Hang in there my friend,there is a light at the end of your tunnel, with a miracle soon. Praying.

Michelle said...

Hang in there. I know this whole process is so unfair and it sucks. I am praying for you!

Stephanie said...

Sorry to hear about the pain...I will be praying for ya'll and hopefully the next round of shots will be a whole lot less painful. You are so strong! Keep the faith!

Krysta said...

Girl I completely know how you feel. You're on all these hormones and you have to do all these injections and dr appts, it's not fun AT ALL and would make anyone grumpy!!! Thankfully it only lasts a few weeks. I voted in your poll, I just think the day of transfer is fine, which is what my dr suggests. I'm commenting from the couch right now since my transfer was this morning. Tomorrow I'll go back to normal, but no exercise or heavy lifting. I mean look at naturally pregnant women, they don't go on bedrest and they usually don't know they are pregnant yet!

Lathan, Lauren & Logan said...

We did 6 IVF's and my RE agreed that bed rest after a transfer didn't really help things (though he said it wouldn't hurt either). For some reason, knowing that it was optional made it a little easier to lay around all day :)

Praying for you especially these next few weeks!!!

Kim said...

I know how hard it is!!! Just try and think positive. Oh I was told by my DR that bed rest doesn't help either way, just to take it easy the day of the transfer. On the IVF that got me my boys, I rested stricly for the day of the transfer and the next day. The day after that I was up and about but still took it easy. Sounds silly, but I talked to them all the time too, telling them to please implant, etc...I WILLED them to implant. Good luck!!!