Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I LOVE good news!

Just got the call that our BETA is up to 299, I was hoping for 300 so I'm thrilled!! On Monday it was 146 and they wanted to see a 70% increase so they said it is a nice, strong number. I was a little worried because today was the same time frame as the time we found out we were losing Chase's twin. To me this is a hurdle crossed! I go back Friday for my next round (I am so spoiled w/my RE). Thank you for all the prayers, they are being answered every single day!!!

***I am grateful for
1) continued prayers
2) continued miracles
3) even this slight chance of rain, we so need it
4) good news
5) the clouds, at least it isn't as hot as it was yesterday!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dare I say the words... Potty Trained???

I almost hesitate to say it for fear of jinxing us, but it looks as if Chase is day-time potty trained! We have just completed day #4 (yes, you read that right) of all-day in big boy underwear with not one.single.accident! I am so excited!! Chase has been such an easy weaner from the pacifier and the bottle that I was just waiting for something to hit that would be a total nightmare. We decided with the potty training to let him take the lead and although we have encouraged it, we have worked very hard to not make him feel like a baby or guilty for wearing pull-ups. It seems to have worked. He had been doing great with pooping in the potty since about May, but he would still pee in his pull-up at the drop of a hat. He was more than happy to use the potty, he was just more than happy to use his pull-up too. We had bought him big boy underwear several months ago, but he just wasn't interested. I guess something has clicked though because the last four days he has done spectacular! I am so proud of him!!!

(And yep, pregnancy test this morning still reads, "pregnant"... I'm a nut, I know! I have blood work tomorrow, I pray our numbers are good... I know they will be!)

**I am thankful for
1) big boy underwear
2) no accidents in 4 whole days!
3) Chase's good eye doctor appointment today
4) my husband that is just so darn cute and such a good daddy!
5) My big boy Chase and our baby on the way!

Monday, July 28, 2008

BETA looking good and all the tests say pregnant!

BETA came back at 146 today!!! My RE is very happy with the number and it looks like this baby is doing great! YEAH!!! I am so thankful!!! I go back on Wednesday for my next round of blood work, keep those prayers coming!

***I am grateful for
1) a good BETA
2) a new week
3) a heart full of joy
4) all those positive pregnancy tests
5) my two miracles

Sunday, July 27, 2008

2 Days in a Row!

For the 2nd day in a row Chase made it all day long in big boy underwear without any accidents. He made it through an entire movie and a 2 1/2 hour nap while wearing them. I cannot even begin to describe how nervous I get when we are out and about with those big boy underwear on, fully aware that an accident could happen at any moment. The only time we put a pull-up on him was when he was in the toddler room at church because there are so many kids in there and I was afraid he'd be really busy playing and singing, making him not want t o take the time to go potty if he needed to. I am so excited and proud of him! I think tomorrow I will even let him venture to the sitter's in big boy underwear and see how he does there. So big!

***I am grateful for
1) bedtime prayers
2) a wonderful weekend
3) big boy underwear
4) no accidents
5) Our Big Boy Chase and our baby on the way!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Such a BIG Boy!

Chase was such a big boy today, today was the first day that he wore his "big boy" underwear all day long with no accidents!!! We went to the mall, rode the carousel, went with Duchess to get her hair cut, went to Chick.Fil.a, went to Kohls, and out to dinner, so it was a full day... did I mention he had NO accidents and he was in "big boy" underwear all day???? I am such a proud Mommy!!! My baby is growing up!

***I am grateful for
1) a wonderful day
2) spending time with Duchess, Chase, and Mads
3) Chase being such a big boy
4) no accidents!
5) that it's time to go to bed!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Chase is very excited to say....

it appears a little sibling is on the way!!! My BETA 9dp5dt is 55!!! I won't go into all the boring details, but we're having a baby!!!! I go back on Monday at 10 for my next round of blood work. It is still so early, very scary to me! We are praying that the numbers continue to rise like they should and that this is a healthy pregnancy!!! I think I could toss my cookies right now! I always read these stories about BETAs that are in the hundreds at this point, but mine more than doubled since Tuesday (27 on Tuesday) and that is what really matters (a 60% increase in 48 hours). OH MY GOD!!! Could this have really and truly worked???? Is Chase really finally going to be a big brother??????

Can you see it???????

***I am so grateful for

Thursday, July 24, 2008

A MEME (because why the heck not)

I've yet to do a MEME, even though I've seen some really cute ones. So to distract me and my mind going (am I pregnant, please Dear God let me be pregnant, am I pregnant, please Dear God let me be pregnant....) I'm going to swipe this one from Rooney's Blog.


What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was still in college, dating my now husband. I knew I was head-over-heels in love and that this was the man I was going to marry.

Favorite Snacks

string cheese & wheat thins
Ice Cold Sweet Tea
lately I am really liking Rice Crispy Treats

To Do List

I'm a To Do Lists kind of girl too and I almost always have one going!
Right Now:
- Go to the grocery store
- Oil change
- Transfer the last 4 months of info over to actual Calendar pages for Chase's book
- List some stuff on eBay
-Finish adding songs to my iPod because let's face it, "Kung Fu Fighting" 10 times in the same car ride is not so cool
-Finish and fold laundry
-Call a colleague to meet for lunch since I had to cancel right before my retrieval because I was so miserable

Jobs I Have Had

-Pet.Sma.rt Checker (hated it)
-Veterinary Technician (loved it)
-Administrative Assistant
-Manager at Rev.ere
-Clinic Assistant
-Public School Teacher

Places I Have Lived

Anchorage, Alaska (born and bred baby)
Houston, Texas
Brookhaven, Mississippi
Tuscon, Arizona
Conroe, Texas
Huntsville, Texas
Willis, Texas

Bad Habits

Big time nail biter, especially when I'm nervous, so as you can imagine they are BAD right now!
Worrying about everything
Driving too fast
Procrastination, I am so bad at times, I can procrastinate about procrastinating
Over-extending myself because I have a really hard time saying NO

5 Random Things People May Not Know

1. I was an identical twin, although my sister, Katie, passed away from SIDS when we were 6 weeks old. Can you imagine two of me.... scary! Although I wish she was here.

2. As mentioned above I was born in Alaska, but no I am not an Eskimo

3. My name, Kahla, is actually the original spelling of Kayla and pronounced the same. Kahla is from Kahla, Germany (look it up, beautiful place). My ancestors, The Kahla's, hailed from there.

4. I believe in signs. If you've seen Fools Rush In, you'll know what I mean.

5. I love to go to Wend.y's and get french fries and a chocolate frosty. Then I like to dip. YUM! I even have Jeff hooked.

CD's I Would Want If Stranded On An Island:

I would much prefer to just bring my iPod and have unlimited battery supply. Unfortunately it crashed not long ago and we are still trying to reload it. Some of my favorite songs on it right now are:
Meet with Me (Ted Shekenel - I think)
Hope Now (Addison Road)
Lose my Soul (Christian and Jeff's fave right now, can't think of the band)
It's Still Rock and Roll (Billy Joel)
Only the Good Die Young (Billy Joel)
Kung Fu Fighting (well, not a fave, but a must for my Doodlebug)
The Shrek 2 CD (I really like most of it)
CARS soundtrack (some more goodies)
Lots of Brad Paisley
Lots of Don Williams
Among so much more!

What I'd Do If I Were A Billionaire

Pay off my house
Pay off our parent's houses (well, I'd buy my mom one much closer to us!)
I'd buy me a new Tahoe because I heart mine, then I'd buy Jeff and big 'ol Ford King Ranch
Give, Give, Give because it feels so good!
Decorate our house since I have no money to do that
Pay off our debt, oh to have no debt
Oh, and I'd open the BIGGEST animal shelter in the world. (I'm so with Rhonda on this)
I would start a fund to help those w/out insurance coverage to be able to afford IVF
I would start a fund to help solve SIDS, it freaking terrifies me!
Then I'd give to Rhonda's stillbirth research, because that scares me too!
I'd make sure that my children (and my niece) were set financially, and their children, and their children, etc...

***I am grateful for:
1) freedom
2) the rain we finally got and hopefully will get more
3) the rainbow I saw our way home from swim class yesterday evening
4) seeing my mom yesterday!
5) seeing my mom again this weekend!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I will sing his praise!

I think I've said it before, but I'm a prayer. If I haven't said it, I like to pray. There... I'm outted. I am trying to teach Chase to pray. Not just as bedtime or supper, but whenever he feels like it. Although it is SUPER cute when he folds his little hands up at the dinner table and prays with us or how he asks God to bless everyone and everything at night from our family and friends to Shrek and Fiona the Goldlfish. I believe prayers are answered. Chase is my proof of that and he reminds me every single day how important prayers are. I'm working really hard on this right now, remembering how important prayers are, and not just when I want something. Although it's ok to pray then too, you know, when you want something. My biggest challenge is I'm a closet prayer. I like to do it alone, as in all by myself and not with other people around or listening or praying with me. I'm not comfortable in those situations, but I want to get over that. Praying with Chase outloud is my first step.

Anyway, back to prayers. I have asked for prayers a lot lately. For family that is having difficult times, friends that are struggling, and for us during this IVF cycle. I'll admit I don't want to have to do IVF again. I would, but I don't want to. I want to give Chase a sibling and be done. I'm tired of the shots/pokes (hey, I'm at 52 just for this round, but who's counting) and I'm tired of the overall physical, emotional, and financial strain it puts on us. Yes, it has brought Jeff and I much closer, but I don't want to have to do it anymore. I just want to be a wife and a Mommy and close this chapter of our lives. Anyway, I have prayed for strength during this cycle. Strength to make it through, strength to accept the outcome, and strength to not totally, completely obsess 24 hours a day making myself and my family complete basket cases. Most of the time, it's worked.

I had told myself on Monday when I didn't have to booster my HCG that it was a good sign because my body was doing what it should. However, in IVF #3 I didn't have to booster with my second blood work either. Then on my 3rd blood work my numbers had plateaued and I did. It was downhill from there. So today was that day. I joked with my nurse this morning that, "I'm a little bloated, a little crampy, my boobs are killing me thanks to the progesterone, and every once in a while a feel a little icky which is probably all in my head. So a bunch of stuff that means absolutely nothing!" She just laughed and said, well it could mean something.... or it could be the meds. ACK! She also said that boostering is not bad, but I've been there, I know it's the beginning of the end. Anyway, I just got the call and we do not need to booster!! I repeat, we do NOT need to booster!!!!!!! That means my number is going up on it's own!!!! Please let this be a good sign!!! I said, "No boosters is a good thing, right?!?!" She just laughed and said, "Yes, no boosters are a good thing!" Keep those prayers coming, I think we just might be on the right path here!!!

***I am grateful for:
2) my embryos that are snug inside me and hopefully staying!
3) dreams
4) the smile on my face
5) the joy in my heart

The Joys of Boys

Allow me to set the scene for you. A warm (read: very HOT) sunny Texas day just as swim class was ending. Chase comes up to us visibly distraught.

Mommy: What's wrong Chase?
Chase: We don't get to go in the baby pool (a.k.a. where we get to splash all we want and act like crazy children).
Mommy: The baby pool is yucky right now, so we can't get in it.
Chase: No it's not!
Mommy: Yes it is, a baby poo-pooed in it... yuck! (smiles triumphantly)
Chase: Really, I wanna see it!!

Dear Lord, he is SUCH a boy.... sad thing is his Daddy would have wanted to see it too.

***I am grateful for:
1) my boy!
2) the rain (where is it anyway???)
3) KSBJ, I am really liking that channel
4) the breeze during swim class
5) laughter

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


(6 days post a 5 day transfer)

Nothing much to report really. I'm crampy, slightly bloated, and just feeling blah. That can be good or it can be bad... I choose to think it's good. I had blood work yesterday and was told that I did not have to booster my HCG. If you booster you basically give your embryos more time to implant because you are tricking your body into thinking you are pregnant and not shedding your lining. So, to translate, that means my HCG (what the embryos produce) is doing what it should and there is not a reason to trick my body. I feel good about this. If I can make it through tomorrow's blood work w/o having to booster, that is an EXCELLENT sign! Send prayers!

***I am grateful for:
1) good blood work!
2) no boosters!
3) half way through the 2ww
4) the rain we are going to get (although hurricanes = not cool)
5) the hugs and kisses my Doodlebug gave me when he woke up this morning!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Hope Now

I was listening to KSBJ (Christian Radio) and heard a song by Addison Road titled Hope Now. I absolutely love this song.... love it! You can listen to it on You.Tube by clicking --> Hope Now

Here are the lyrics in case you don't have high speed to watch You.Tube (I've been there)!


If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

***I am thankful for
1) dreams
2) hope
3) the power of believing
4) faith
5) praise

Sunday, July 20, 2008


Mark 11:24 . . . all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted unto you.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Sunrise and a Superhero

Here is the picture of the sunrise as we left to go to our transfer... isn't it spectacular??? Notice the blue AND the pink??? Perhaps a sign?

Then there is Chase in his new Buzz Lightyear costume, isn't he spectacular???

Thursday, July 17, 2008

No Totsicles


(totsicles a.k.a. frozen embryos)

***I am grateful for:
1) the fact that even those we have no totsicles, we won't need them because I have faith this cycle worked
2) 2 days of bedrest down!
3) 1 day of the 2ww down
4) it's almost Friday!
5) we still have a month of summer vacation left!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The day started off spectacular and has only gotten better!

This morning we woke up early and got ready to head to Houston for our transfer. Chase had spent the night with Memaw and PawPaw, so it was a fairly easy morning. I even managed to throw a roast in the crockpot on the way out the door. When I looked up into the sky I saw the most amazing sunrise. The sky was pink and just absolutely beautiful. I knew immediately that this was going to be a great day! We arrived at the surgery center to find it dark and quiet, very peaceful. When the receptionist finally arrived and gave me my paperwork I noticed that Dr. Young was listed as our RE doing to transfer and not Dr. G, who is our main RE and the one that's done all of our previous transfers. After a slight moment of panic I decided it didn't matter, today was going to be a great day!

The nurse that called us back was wonderful. She was a Christian and praised God nonstop. I always love people like that because they have no fear or doubts when it comes to talking about the Lord, it just seems so outgoing to me. It was really nice. I felt very at ease and peaceful with her. Like she was an angel for us. She was also my recovery nurse, so that was a double blessing!

Our transfer was scheduled for 8:30 and at 9:40 we finally made it back. For those not familiar with transfers, they are the easy part! You just lay there. Bad thing is you have to have a full bladder and hold it for a very.long.time, so that is uncomfortable. This is the first time that I was in no pain from this. I don't know what was different, but I was never uncomfortable. We waited for Dr. Young to come back and finally the nurse called to see what was going on. Turned out Dr. Young had left and Dr. G was on his way to do our transfer! I was so excited and happy, just another great turn.

Dr. G is so friendly and just all-around a nice guy. He makes you feel comfortable and you can talk to him without feeling like your talking to your doctor but like your talking to a friend. He asked us if we were ready to go and I said we were, but we had no clue what we had. So he went over it all with us. And boy what a great and blessed report it was!!!! Turns out we had 14 eggs retrieved and 12 were mature. Indeed all 12 did fertilize so we did have 100% fertilization... wow!!!! He was as impressed as we were and gave Jeff a pat on the back for a job well done! Out of those 12, 3 were at the blastocyst stage, 2 were at morula, and there were several others following closely behind. We all agreed to go ahead and transfer the three blasts with the understanding that we were aware there is a good possibility of multiples. Dr. G felt confident w/the number and so did we. Our goal is one healthy baby. Twins or a girl are just icing on the cake, although I sure would love another little boy like my Chase! As for the remaining embies, they are going to watch the rest for one more day to see which ones can be frozen... hopefully at least our two morulas will make it, if not more!

The transfer went very smoothly and we got to watch it on ultrasound. Dr. G talks to you through the whole thing and keeps you very relaxed. Of course Jeff was with me and that helps too! When he was done he pointed them out on the ultrasound and they printed us off a picture. I swear that the picture has the shape of a babies head in it. I wish I could take a picture and post it, maybe I'll try when I'm allowed out of bed on Saturday. Jeff noticed it first and when he said something I could immediately see it. I spent the next hour in recovery and then we made our trek home where I'll be on bedrest until I go to get blood work on Saturday. This part is tough, but will be so worth it. I'm still fighting with some chest congestion and am terrified each time I cough, but I know that it will be ok. I try to remind myself I cannot cough these embies out or pee them out.... stupid, but always another fear! As far as our BETA, it is far, far away. I'm going to try to not obsess and just take it easy over the next two weeks. I feel good about this and have faith. Thank you for the prayers, I know they will be answered.


Chase has his recheck with his pedi while we were in Houston at our transfer. It went wonderful!!! The spot on his leg looks great and she was very happy it had ruptured and she did not have to drain it. She also does not feel that the two other spots are staph, prayers answered! She prescribed him an antibiotic cream to go ahead and apply on all three spots and hopefully he will be 100% better soon! Thank you again for the prayers for Chase, again they have been answered!!

***I am grateful for
1) our nurse today and the joy she brought us
2) the beautiful sunrise
3) a smooth transfer
4) a great appointment for my Doodlebug
5) a spectacular day!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The time is near.

Chase's abscess ruptured last night while he was soaking in an Epsom Salt bath and was very painful. :o( He was hysterical so we wiped the best we could, doctored it, and bandaged it. He then slept in our bed because, "It made him feel better." It continued to drain throughout the night and this morning when we took the bandage off to soak again it appeared that the "knuckle" of puss (I know, that is so gross) had come out and left a rather big hole. However the redness and swelling had gone down quite a bit, so I thought that was a good sign. He soaked, we doctored, and just a few minutes ago he told me that it wasn't hurting as much and I could touch it! Surely that is a sign of healing!!! Unfortunately he has developed two more sites that I'm greatly concerned about. I have written a letter for his pediatrician since MeMaw will be taking him so that she will check these tomorrow. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and well wishes, I have on doubt that they bring healing to my brave little Doodlebug!


Speaking of my brave Doodlebug, he quickly became my hero today! Living in TX we have scorpions, which I hate. Not the huge black ones, but the brownish/grayish ones that seem to blend in with everything. They are not deadly and I've been fortunate enough to not be stung, but Jeff has been stung and it was extremely painful. We have not seen one since moving into this house in February, but I knew it was just a matter of time. After a morning of pretend play of knights and castles followed by the drumming on everything with hard plastic straws since we are in a band (must be hereditary because Jeff does this), Chase jumped into my lap as I sat on the couch, leaned over, and began wildly smacking the floor with a straw while yelling, "I got it Mamma, I got it!" I thought we were entertaining a new phase of entertainment when I looked down and saw that what he got, was a huge scorpion... ewww. It was easily 3 inches long and indeed, my guy had smacked it to death with a straw. What a brave guy he is!!!!! Good thing he is got it before either of us were stung, bad thing is 1) it was in my house and 2) Chase now thinks there are more. Ugh, guess it's time to spray!


IVF Update! We have been scheduled for our 5d transfer at 8:30 tomorrow morning. We will need to arrive at 7:30. Since we are using a different surgery center to help with costs (it's owned indep., unlike the hospital) my nurse did not have current numbers. So instead of trying to track them down I am going to have faith that all is fine, trust in the Lord, and go forward peacefully and confidently tomorrow!

****I am grateful for:
1) trust
2) Chase finding the scorpion before one of us was stung!
3) the vacuumed floor
4) a day spent playing w/Chase before I go on bedrest
5) making it to transfer

Monday, July 14, 2008

A Double Post of Sorts

I'll start out with the most important thing. We need prayers for our Doodlebug! On Friday we thought Chase got bit by an ant. On Saturday he woke up complaining and saying his leg hurt. Long story short we went to the pediatrician today and and Chase has developed a staph infection. Our pediatrician was pretty concerned and has started him on a strong antibiotic and he will need to be re-seen on Wednesday so they can remeasure the area (it's super red around it) and drain it. Chase is such a trooper, he's done really well. It is extremely sore to the touch and he is having a hard time putting all his weight on it. Our pedi was shocked he was walking at all. We are soaking it twice a day in salt baths and will skip swim class this week as an added precaution. Please pray that this heals quickly and does not get worse. I had a staph infection in 8th grade that was very, very bad and at one point life-threatening so they terrify me! TIA for the prayers you send!


Now how about an IVF update!?! I'm actually still pretty shocked and having a very difficult time believing this. In fact I almost feel as if I'm lying by posting it!! We did not receive a fertilization update this weekend and I have really been trying not to obsess since there is nothing I can do but pray our embies do well. I needed some refills of meds called in so I went ahead and called my clinic late this morning and figured I might as well ask about the report. Vicki, the office manager that rocks!, said she would have them fax the report over and call me as soon as she heard. I was ok with that and hung up to wait that lovely, nerve wracking, heart-pounding-every-time the phone rings wait. Turns out while I was upstairs calling on my cell phone that the surgical center had left a message on the home phone downstairs. Technically they were just calling to see how I was feeling and said they would call back, but I figured, what the heck I'd call them. After a little confusion as to who I was supposed to talk to I got the nurse on the phone and she told me that she didn't have the official paperwork but they had told her 12 had fertilized. 12?!?! 12?!??! 12 was all we had! That means 100% fertilization. I really thought that there must be a language barrier and a misunderstanding and that I'd get the "real" results when my clinic called me later.

A bit later my clinic did call just to verify which kind of progesterone oil I'd used in the past. Since I had MY nurse on the phone I went ahead and mentioned that we had never got a report but I was just trusting all was fine. HINT HINT. She kinda laughed it off and then said that she had actually just called them and even though she was waiting on the fax, they told her that 12 had fertilized. HOLY CRAP! 12?!?!? I mentioned that I was shocked to have 100% fertilization since 12 was what we had and she said that she didn't know what our total count had been, they had just told her it was over 10. Well heck, how many of those eggies did we have?!??!! She also went on to assure me that we've had a great cycle and 100% fertilization does happen, so it's possible. We've just never even come close, so I still can't believe this!!!!! Also, we are definitely a 5d transfer!!!! I feel that this is an awesome dream and that the bomb is going to drop any minute. Could this really be THE cycle that gives us a sibling for Chase?!?!?! I'm feeling pretty darn great about it, that's for sure!

***I am grateful for:
1) the fact I have access to medicine and that it will make my Doodlebug better!
2) a wonderful fertilization report
3) the prayers we'll receive
4) the healing that I know will happen
5) happy feelings!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Another year older

Today I turned 32. 32! How did that happen? When I think of myself I don't think of a girl that's now closer to 40 than she is 20. I think of a young, fresh out of college girl that has barely begun to live her life. Yes, I know that 32 is not old. In fact, since the 40s are like the new 30s, then that must mean the 30s are like the new 20s, which would mean I just turned 22... that sounds so much better. ;o) It's just so hard for me to believe that so many years are now under my belt.

My day was nice and simple. My mom is traveling, so she called me bright and early to reminisce about my birth. Then we headed off to church for a wonderful sermon that felt like it was directed right towards me and my journeys. After church we went over to Jeff's parents for ribs and a day of doing nothing. My Doodlebug took a nap in my lap and Lord knows I love to cuddle, so that was fine with me. I got lots of phone calls and emails with lots of well wishes. Not a bad way to spend a birthday, even if it does mean I'm another year older.

***I am grateful for:
1) a day spent w/family
2) a wonderful feeling on the inside
3) the great sermon
4) another weekend
5) the fact that yep, I AM another year older!

Friday, July 11, 2008

ER Update!

We got the call this afternoon from our nurse that the final count is 12, well really she said, "Did they tell you how many they got?" And I said, "They said 12 with one more vial to go." Then she said, "Yep." So, I'm assuming the final number is 12. She then went on to say that we are going to aim for a 5d (5 day) transfer. A 5d transfer!!!! We've never made it to a 5d transfer before, so I am super excited! I know that it all depends on how many fertilize (which I may not find out tomorrow since it's the weekend... ugh) and how they are doing, but right now things are definitely looking fantastic!

**I am grateful for:
1) the possibility of a 5d transfer
2) prayers being answered
3) the weekend!
4) hugs
5) kisses

Eggs come in dozens, right?

After getting up at 4:45 (yes, you read that right) for our egg retrieval we arrived in Houston bright and early... too early for our liking! I'm pretty sure that we were the first people there other than the security guard, but at least he was friendly. This was our first time at this actual clinic since all of our other retrievals have been at the Tom.ball Hospital. We were definitely the first patients there and there wasn't even anyone in the front to check us in so we just sat and waited. About 10 minutes later the nurse peeked out and called us back. We got checked in, signed all the papers, did the usual checks, changed into the gown and lovely footies, and got ready for the IVF. The nurse was very sweet and got the IV on the first try... unfortunately it blew almost immediately. Good news is the 2nd try stuck. Since the practice we use has gotten so big there are 3 REs we have never met, one of those would perform the ER today. Turns out this RE is super nice (just as our regular RE is), but is like 25... ok, really in his early 30s, but boy is he young!

I won't go into all the details of the ER, but I've said it before and it is my least favorite part of IVF. This time wasn't so bad (although I would like this to work and not have to go through it again!) and just so happens to be the best outcome so far. When Dr. Young (a.k.a. real name not used here) came out to talk to Jeff we were at a count of 12 with one vial still to go, so that number could have gone up. They are supposed to call tomorrow with a fertilization report and then I'll have my transfer on the 14th or the 16th.

So far, so good, thanks for the prayers! Now we just need our eggs to fertilize and grow, but I have faith all will be fine... trust in the Lord!

***I am grateful for:
1) a smooth ER
2) a good clinic
3) my husband who is always by my side
4) peace
5) faith

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Absolutely miserable.

I have never felt this way in any of my previous 3 IVFs. I feel miserable, absolutely miserable. I'm also fighting off some kind of URI and have been running a fever, so I'm sure that is not helping. At my ultrasound yesterday my ovaries were practically laying right on top of eachother and are huge. I woke up every hour last night to pee and look 4 months pregnant. It's awful. I hope I haven't overstimmed. When my nurse called to give me my trigger time I told her how miserable I was and she said that having as many eggs as I do, that was normal. Ugh. I go in for my egg retrieval at 7:30 on Friday (they'll call to confirm the time tomorrow). Thank God my friend Stacy was here today to help out with Chase because I don't think I could have done it on my own. I will say Chase has been a doll and is so concerned about me. He just cuddles right up and asks me if I'm feeling better. He is so sweet. I just keep telling myself it will be so worth it when we get that BFP!

I am grateful for:
1) Stacy, what would I do w/o her!
2) That in 48 hours I will be done with my ER!
3) My sweet Chase
4) watermelon, seems to be the only thing that sounds good right now!
5) the quiet evening

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It's that time. **Updated**

My appointment this morning went great and I am ready to go. We will trigger tonight and have our egg retrieval on Thursday. If we do a 3d transfer like we have with our 3 previous IVFs then we'll transfer on Sunday, my birthday. I'll take that!

**Update** We just got a phone call saying that we will stim for one more day. Looks like they are really pushing me in order to get more follies. I always get so nervous I will ovulate before the retrieval, but I trust them so I'm sure it'll be ok. Our new retrieval date will be Friday and that means transfer will be on Monday or Wednesday (depending on if it's a 3d or 5d).

I am grateful for:
1) making it to our egg retrieval
2) great sunsets
3) crickets chirping at night
4) Chase loving his swim class
5) another great IVF appointment!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Happy Fouth of July (just a little late)

I hope everyone had a fantastic Fourth of July, we spent ours at the beach doing absolutely nothing! It was awesome! We took Chase down to the beach and he loved it. We must have picked up a zillion sea shells and even though they all looked so much alike, Chase loved each one we picked up even more than the last. He is so full of wonder, he makes me feel so lucky. Jeff and his Dad took Chase into the ocean and let him jump the waves. I think he would have done that all day. Even swallowing a mouth full of saltwater and promptly puking it back up didn't deter him! We flew his kite, we splashed in the water, and we dug in the sand. We watched the waves roll in and out and the seagulls fly over us. We saw lots of fireworks, which Chase was thrilled about. But even better than the fireworks was the sunset on the Fourth, Chase pointed out how beautiful it was and I agreed. Yesterday before we headed home we went fishing. I got the best picture of Chase with his very own fish, you can see the joy on his face. I'll have to get it uploaded and posted, so check back soon!

On our way home we stopped so that MeMaw and PawPaw could let Chase pick out a hermit crab. He chose on that has a shell painted like Nemo and decided that in there was only one name that would fit.... Nemo. So Nemo came home with us. We had read that they were not aggressive and did not pinch. Turns out they if your hand smells like popcorn (which apparently they like) and your palm is not tight, they will pinch. We found that out the hard way. Chase was holding Nemo and told us, "I'm so happy!" Then about 30 seconds later he started screaming. Nemo had him and he had him good. I liked to have never got his claw open. Poor Chase was devastated that Nemo "bit" him, but did not want to get rid of him. I on the other hand wanted to throw him on the ground and stomp the crap out of him! We decided that maybe Nemo was stressed out, thought Chase's had was popcorn, and needed a friend. So Duchess went with us to Pet.Smart and let Chase pick out a friend for Nemo and a wonderful habitat. Chase is very excited and has named the new hermit crab, "My Little Crab... or MLC for short." Hopefully we won't have anymore pinching, anytime soon!

On the IVF front I went in on Friday and saw my RE, which was a nice surprise. He was pleased with what he saw, which was a relief after the previous appointment. I'm always so scared that something will happen and cancel our cycle! On Friday my largest follicle was a 14, which is what my nurse had wanted to see on Wednesday. I went in the morning and my follicles must have had a growth spurt over the weekend! We measured 14 that ranged in size from 12-21, with 6 of them being a 17 or 18. That is awesome! We also measured one that was a 10 and then there were more we didn't measure. It looks like my retrieval will be either Wed or Thursday and my transfer will be on Saturday or Sunday. I've said it before, but Sunday is my birthday, so in my book, that's kinda cool. Physically I'm getting pretty bloated and miserable, but I just tell myself that when I'm pg, this will sooooo be worth it!

I am grateful for:
1) my mother
2) a wonderful beach trip
3) good friends
4) summer
5) an excellent IVF appointment!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Mr. Handsome

Today Chase got his new glasses and I must say, he looks so handsome! We didn't pick them up until this afternoon, but he has done so well since getting them. When we picked them out we decided against the kind that wrapped around his ear because they looked terribly uncomfortable and Chase absolutely hated them. Instead we went with a regular pair and then today they bent them enough that they would stay on without a big hassle. I really don't know how to tell if he sees better with them because I never knew he had a problem before. I mean it's not like he was running into walls or acted like he couldn't see. I keep telling myself that he has good vision, it's just blurry. Because really, how the heck do you tell in a 3 year old?? We also went ahead and ordered him a pair of prescription sunglasses because for now, he has to wear his glasses all the time. Since he's like me and hates the sun in his eyes, the sunglasses were a must! I think I'm going to be paying on these glasses forever!

IVF #4 Update: When I went in for my ultrasound/blood work we counted at least 8 follicles on one side and then saw several on the other. I have one side that is pretty tough to see, so she only measured one. They all measured around 10 or 11mm and they like to see them at 14 by this point, so I was a wreck. I guess my blood work looked good though because I'm staying on the same dose and going back in on Friday morning. I am out of one of my meds, so I'll change to an equivalent that I have (remember we take whatever we can get since we are self-pay). Good news is that it'll do the same thing, bad news is I'm going from a tummy shot to a hip shot and those suckers hurt... and have the 1 1/2 inch needles... ugh! Oh well, it could be worse! I am trying so hard not to stress and focus on this, but boy is it tough! I keep telling myself, it's in God's hands, trust in him!

**I am grateful for:
1) Chase's glasses
2) the prayers we're recieving
3) the short line at the DMV today!
4) our home
5) another IVF hurdle crossed!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

A Big Congratulations to my Cousin, Randi, on her new job!

WTG Girl, we are sooooo happy for you!

I am grateful for:
1) Randi's new job!
2) answered prayers
3) the moon in the sky
4) sleeping toddlers
5) another good day

Sometimes I just want to reach out and slap someone.

I love our pediatrician.... love her! However, I'm not so happy with the actual company right now. Back in March at Chase's well check-up I was told I had a substantial credit and they would just apply it to my bill. Hey, I LOVE surprises like that... until you find out later that they were COMPLETELY wrong! At our next appointment for his lovely ear infection we were told they were changing their billing system over and the would cut us a check for the remainder of the credit. Sounded good to me. Of course when instead of a nice little check I received a bill for way more than the credit ever was, I was not a happy camper. After contacting them I was told the account would be audited and someone would get back with me. Turns out their way of getting back with you is threatening to send you to collections... nice. I mean seriously, how unprofessional is that???? I called and spoke with a representative and she said that they had indeed audited and it were their mistake, a credit never existed. After I expressed my unhappiness she told me that she would make a note I was upset on the account... wow, thanks!

As for our IVF update, another appointment down! I was a little worried when I went in yesterday and was told that my follies are growing, but they need to be bigger. I tend to stim for 11 days and had only 5 1/2 days worth of shots at that point, so I wasn't sure what to think. She said we might up my meds and they'd call me after the blood work. I guess it all came back OK because I stayed on the same dose and I go back on Wednesday. Phew! I was so proud of myself for not asking actual numbers because I know I would start obsessing. I'm trying really hard to not anymore because I find myself spending every spare moment on the Internet... not good! Hopefully tomorrow's appointment will go just as well!

**I am grateful for:
1) the Disney Channel
2) happy times
3) faith
4) determination
5) the sunny day