Saturday, June 30, 2007

My how time flies....

Three years ago today we found out that I was pregnant. We didn't know it was twins and that we would lose one and we didn't know just what truly was in store for us, but we knew that we were finally on the road to holding our sweet, sweet baby in our arms. We knew we were happy and scared and excited. We knew that our prayers had been answered and that a miracle was on the way.

I can remember the phone call like it was yesterday, truly some of the most wonderful words I had ever hard. I was sitting in a workshop and fully expected the usual phone call of, "Your blood work looked great, stay on the same dose of meds, come back day after tomorrow." yet I was greeted with, "Kahla, it looks like you're pregnant!" I was totally taken off guard, which was awesome since having done IVF we figured there would be no *surprise* of finding out because we were on a schedule after all and had been told we would receive a pregnancy test 14 days after our retrieval. Yet we were only 9, how was I to know they were even running a pregnancy test! I immediately cried tears of joy and scared the begeebers out of my instructor, who promptly sent me on my way to share the news with Jeff. I called him as I drove the 20 miles home and have no clue how I kept from screaming into the phone that he was going to be a Daddy... but I did manage it and drove to the place he was, asked him to meet me in the parking lot, and barely let him get a hi out before bursting out with it. Not the most unique way, but it was perfect just the same.

Now three years later we spent the day chasing our 28 month old around, dealing with the terrible twos, and loving every minute of it... well, almost every minute. I could probably deal with out the fit throwing, but then it wouldn't be the terrible twos, would it? I know I've said it before, but it's amazing what a difference three short years can make!

Now for the other good stuff:

I had my ultrasound/blood work yesterday and my ovaries are packed with follicles. I feel like I have two cantaloupes shoved inside me and even Dr. G asked if I was feeling it yet? I promptly responded with a grunted yes and as soon as he turned on the ultrasound he said he could see why.... good sign in my book. I went ahead and stimmed last night and we went in this morning for another ultrasound/blood work. My lead follicle was a 22 and I am 100% ready to go, both mentally and physically. I'm pretty sure that if I don't get these out soon, I'm going to burst! So we're going to trigger tonight at 11:30 (this will make poke number 33 for this round of IVF, but who's counting) and then we'll go to the hospital at 9:00 on Monday for our retrieval. Dr. G made the comment that we are on the exact schedule as Chase as far as triggering on d13, retrieving on d15, transferring on d18, which is cool to me. I commented back that we're all for that because it worked last time, so that's another good sign. He agreed. I guess this will be my last update until after the retrieval so wish us luck!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

19 shots down already!

Since I take two shots a day, we're 19 shots down already! And several blood draws too! ;o) My ultrasound went really well this morning and it looks like there are about 7 follicles (these hold the eggs) on my left ovary and 4 on my right. I think I may have gotten numbers backwards last time, I'm not sure. There could be more we aren't seeing and of course all the ones we can see may not be mature when it comes time to retrieve them, but I think the numbers are looking good. They are measuring between 13 and 15, so we are definitely getting close. I go back Friday for another ultrasound/bloodwork and I'm guessing we'll have dates for our retrieval at that time. It could be as soon as Sunday!

On a side note the carpet is done and it looks awesome! Pictures to come (as soon as I find the camera).

You've Got Questions, I've Got Answers!

I get lots of questions in emails and during phone calls and I honestly don't mind them a bit. But since I get the same ones time and time again, I thought I would do a question/answer post. If you have one that I haven't answered and you're really curious, just let me know and I'll add it!

Does IVF hurt?

Well that can vary. Last time it was 69 days from our first shot to our last. In the beginning it didn't hurt at all, Jeff would give me a shot and that was that. Granted, I've been told I have a high pain tolerance so maybe that has something to do with it. After about 3 or 4 weeks of hip shots (progesterone shots that go in my hips with a 1 1/2 inch needle) they did get pretty sore because by that point we were giving shots on top of where other shots had been given. They also started bleeding pretty bad towards the end and developed lumps.

The ultrasounds don't hurt at all and having blood taken is no big deal either. The follicle stimulating hormones (FSH) that goes in my tummy are with a tiny needle and can barely be felt. The one that goes in my hip stings like you wouldn't believe, then it just starts itching.

During the egg retrieval you are under anesthesia, so you don't feel anything until you wake up. At that point you are are just sore and the embryo transfer is not painful either.

Is IVF expensive?

Unfortunately, it is VERY expensive. There are a lucky few that have awesome insurance that covers it and then there are way more, like us, that don't. From start to finish we will pay around $12,000 for this cycle. We did get some donated meds and that saved us about $1,500. Then we bought some other meds at a very discounted price and that saved us about another $1,000. So if we paid full price, it would run about $14,000 - $15,000 per cycle with no guarantee of a pregnancy.

Texas does have a mandate that insurance companies must offer employers a policy that covered IVF, but employers are not required to purchase this policy for the employees. Some states require that IVF be covered, I wish Texas would do that.

How long does it take to complete a cycle?

That depends on your protocol. We started birth control pills on May 21st. I had a Lupron shot on June 11th to suppress my system and get it ready for IVF. Then I started my stims (to produce follicles) on June 18th. Our retrieval will be around the end of this week and transfer around July 4th. Then it takes two weeks to get a positive pregnancy test. So from start to finish we are looking at 2 months. However, we will not be released from our RE (specialist) for another 4 weeks after that, so really it's about 3 months.

Do you think it's worth it?

Have you seen my Doodlebug? Chase makes every little bit of our journey worth it and so will his sibling(s).

Do you have to do IVF? Can't you just relax and get pregnant?

Well if all it took was relaxing, I'd have a litter by now. While it is possible that we could conceive without IVF, we have a better chance of roping the moon blindfolded with our hands tied behind our backs (I think you get the picture). We are dealing with male factor infertility (the boys are swimming in circles and refuse to ask for directions) so IVF is only option. With IVF we bypass all our problems because the sperm is directly put into the egg.

Will you tell Chase and his siblings that they are IVF babies?

Yes, when the time is right we will tell them. IVF does not make them any less loved or any different. In fact, they are conceived with more love than you can ever imagine. Just think of how much love goes in to this and how much these children are wanted. They will know that we wanted nothing in our lives, more than we wanted them. Because we are dealing with male factor there is a very good chance that it could be hereditary and passed down. We want our children to know that if they ever find themselves on this path, that there are ways to build their family and it will be ok. It would not be fair to deprive them of information that could save them from a lifetime of heartache.

What exactly is IVF?

One of the best-known treatments for infertility is in vitro fertilization, or IVF. It is highly effective for both female and male factor infertility. It offers the best chance of pregnancy per cycle, but is also the most expensive form of treatment. As a result, IVF is often utilized only after trying more conservative treatments. The in vitro fertilization procedure involves hormone injections to stimulate ovaries to mature eggs, which are then retrieved through aspiration. Fertilization of the eggs takes place in a laboratory. The resulting embryos are nourished in an incubator and, at a predetermined stage of development, transferred into the uterus to continue normal fetal development.

We also use Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI). ICSI involves the insertion of a single sperm directly into a mature egg obtained from the ovary of a woman undergoing in vitro fertilization. The babies born after ICSI are just as healthy as babies conceived spontaneously.

Why don't you just use a surrogate?

We don't use one because we don't need one. Our problem is not the carrying of a child to a full term pregnancy, in fact, I had a perfect pregnancy with Chase and he would have been more than happy to keep on baking if we hadn't evicted him. Our problem lies in the whole getting pregnant part.

Is Chase all yours? (I get this A LOT!)

Yes, Chase is 100% biologically mine and Jeff's child and his siblings will be too. There are cases where donor egg and sperm are used and I'm thankful that's an option for those that need it. But in our case, we are able to use my eggs and Jeff's sperm, which makes our children 100% biologically ours.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Is it Friday yet?

Boy, this has been one long week and it's only Monday! I had another ultrasound/bloodwork this morning and things are headed in the right direction. Dr. G counted 6 follicles on the left and 3 on the right (possibly more) and they are all at 11 or 12. They need to get to 20 in order to retrieve so we're well on our way. Looks like the date will be towards the end of this week, beginning of next. I had figured around the 30th, which is Saturday, so not bad. I'll go back Wednesday for my next ultrasound/bloodwork.

As for everything else, just busy, busy, busy! Our new carpet is being installed tomorrow, which means that everything that is small enough for us to move is now sitting in my kitchen and laundry room, can't tell you how nice that is. I can't wait for tomorrow to be over, so we can start getting things put back where they belong! Wish me luck!!

And just for the heck of it, here's a recent favorite pic of Chase. I just think this is adorable, definitely the way to make a fashion statement!
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Sunday, June 24, 2007

What God Meant..

What God meant...

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones; "just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "why can't you just be happy with what you have," or the most painful from the ones who seem to have the good on God's plan; "maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never ceases to amaze me. These same people would never walk up to someone with cancer and say, "maybe God never meant for you to live." However since I am infertile, I am supposed to get on with my life.

It is hard to understand why people cannot see infertility for what it is: a disease for which I have the right to seek treatment. What if doctors said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of children to be cripples, live in iron lungs or die." What if they never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that was God's plan?

Why do I think God gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up each time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, and to create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. No, God never meant for me NOT to have children. That is not my destiny, that is just a fork in the road I am on. I have been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I am a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and have greater inner strength on this journey to resolution and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and deep that when the baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest most refreshing drink I have ever known. While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never experience the joy that I know awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And, the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility, I already know."


**Disclaimer: Sometimes we hear comments that while they are not meant to hurt, they do. If you have never gone through infertility, then it's really hard to understand. Why should those suffering with infertility feel any different about the longings for a family than those who or not suffering with this horrible disease (yes, it's a disease). It's it a difficult path? One of the most difficult we have ever traveled. Is it worth the pain, money, time, and heartaches? If you take one look at Chase, you would know that answer. While this is not meant to offend anybody, I do hope that maybe it can help those that don't have a very good understanding just a little bit.**

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Duct Tape

We had our house built when we got married in 99 and as with most construction they were behind schedule and we closed about a month after the wedding. So in September the house will be 8 years old. We never planned on staying in this house for 8 years and we long ago outgrew it, but things happen and plans change. Our mortgage is cheap, REAL cheap, and as much as we would LOVE a bigger, newer, nicer, did I say BIGGER house, it's hard to face tripling our note… especially with all the IVF debt. We figure we can get a few more years out of this one, pay off the kids (well, pay off the conceiving of the kids), and then look at something bigger and better.

When we had this house built it was nightmare. Long story short we ended up in a lawsuit with the builder that lasted three long years before finally getting the things fixed that needed fixed. Since then it's been much better and after accepting the fact that we were not going anywhere anytime soon, we've been doing little things here and there to help make our stay more comfortable. We FINALLY added grass to the backyard, we're painting the outside (fortunately it's about 95% brick!), added some stepping stones in the front, slowing replacing faucets (I hope) and most importantly we're getting new carpet... which leads me to our newest adventure in homeownership.

Our carpet is scheduled to be installed Tuesday, as in three days from now. While I have given up all hope of keeping our current carpet in any kind of decent condition, I no doubt will be like a mother bear protecting her cub when it comes to the new stuff. Just simple things like no ding dongs in the living room, no Koolaid in the living room, no, well you get the picture. Last night as I walked from the living room to the kitchen I stepped in a nice round puddle. As I did my double take to make sure that our bulldog, Molly, had not made an oopsie on the carpet, I quickly noticed that it was dark. Definitely not an oopsie. So the next thing that popped into my head was the can of Dr. Pepper that my sweet son had gone tottling off with just mere minutes before. As I snapped at Jeff and the fact that he had just walked over this spot and why didn’t HE clean it up (let’s just say the hormones have invaded me) I realized that it indeed was not an oopsie or Dr. Pepper, just water and dirt (did I mention our carpet is really bad?). Now the question was, where was this water coming from? As we quickly searched for the culprit a horrible thought came creeping into my head. Yep, the a/c. Figures. Sure enough the a/c guy is here and our bill is up to $750ish and rising by the moment. Why is it always something? I would love to just say, put some duct tape on there and get it over with, but with the new carpet being installed in three days I can’t use that as my solution unless I want to risk ruining $2200 in carpet next week. I swear it is always something. One step forward, two steps back. And they said duct tape could fix anything!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Lookin' Good

Another week of summer vacation gone... *sigh* It's amazing how slowly the school year can go by, yet summer just flies at the speed of light!

After crossing our first IVF hurdle on Monday with the all clear on the bloodwork/ultrasound, we faced hurdle #2 today. I've now been on stims for 5 days (hence I'm getting my green glow) and this morning I had my ultrasound/bloodwork to verify that I was responding. I know I have no reason to worry about these appointments, but I do. It's my nature. If I wasn't worrying, I'd worry about that! I went in and everything looked great on the ultrasound and I have several follicles on both sides that are 9's and 10's, right where they should be. *phew* My bloodwork also looked good, so we'll keep on the same doses med wise and I'll go in on Monday for my next ultrasound/bloodwork.

Jeff has picked up on the shot thing like an old pro, it's almost scary. We are actually 9 shots down already and I'm not even bruised... that bad! I so can't wait to be on the other side of this part, but then that just means more of my summer is gone!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Monday, June 18, 2007

100 Reasons Why I Love My Daddy - By Chase Alan

***Chase helped me make this for Jeff for Father's Day. I was going to post yesterday in honor of this very special day, but Doodlebug was sick and I never got to sign on. Chase loves his Daddy so much, it's easy to see why!***

1. He stops to let me check the mail with him.
2. He does an awesome Cookie Monster voice just for me.
3. He makes up silly songs for me.
4. He sings with me.
5. He shares his stuff with me.
6. He plays with me.
7. He carries me, even when he’s tired.
8. He gives me lots of hugs and kisses.
9. He tells me that he loves me, all the time.
10. He helps me when I need it.
11. He takes care of me when I’m sick.
12. He laughs with me.
13. He rocks me when I’m sleepy.
14. He helps me brush my teeth.
15. He lets me ride on his shoulders.
16. He protects me.
17. He checks on me at night to make sure I’m ok.
18. When I get hurt, he kisses my booboos all better.
19. He tells me how important I am.
20. He reads to me.
21. He lets me play his video game with him.
22. He can’t wait to take me fishing.
23. He works hard to take care of me and support our family.
24. He’s funny.
25. He’s nice.
26. He’s caring towards everyone.
27. He does special things just for me.
28. He eats popsicles with me.
29. He shares his ding-dongs with me.
30. He cleans up after me.
31. He shares my love for cookies and milk!
32. He cooks food for me.
33. He lets me drive his truck!
34. He makes me feel safe in this big world.
35. He pretends with me.
36. He teaches me new things every day.
37. He helps me learn right from wrong.
38. He sets good examples for me.
39. When I need him he’s always there for me.
40. He tells me “NO” even though I hate that word, because sometimes it’s best for me.
41. He always put my needs before his.
42. He wants what’s best for me.
43. He makes time for me.
44. He holds my hand to keep me safe when we cross the street.
45. He talks to me.
46. He lets me tell all my “friends” goodnight.
47. He makes sure my bed is perfect and ready each evening.
48. He gives me my bath.
49. He rubs me down with lotion so that my skin doesn’t get dry and itchy.
50. He dresses me.
51. He trims my nails so that I won’t scratch myself.
52. He goes to music class with me.
53. He swims with me.
54. He takes picture of me and lets me look at them.
55. He shows me lots of neat things.
56. He encourages me to do new things.
57. He’s proud of me.
58. He goes to great lengths to make me happy.
59. He’s strong.
60. He cuddles with me.
61. He doesn’t mind changing my diapers, even the really nasty ones.
62. He watches over me.
63. He’d do anything for me.
64. He takes me to my doctor’s appointments.
65. He gives me medicine when I’m sick to help me feel better.
66. He worries about me.
67. He chases me and makes me belly laugh.
68. He tickles me until I'm laughing so hard I can’t stand it!
69. He’s silly.
70. He lets me help put the big dogs outside.
71. He lets me “help” even when it’s not really helping.
72. He wants me to be happy.
73. He lets me feed my fish.
74. He thinks about my future and all the things he wants me to do.
75. He can’t wait to take me hunting.
76. He plays the guitar with me.
77. He takes me to church.
78. He always put my carseat in really tight so that I’m safe.
79. He tries very hard to be patient with me.
80. He puts up with me when I’m cranky.
81. When I’m sad he always cheers me up.
82. When I wake up he comes to get me.
83. He likes to show me off to everyone he meets.
84. He picks me up from the sitter when Mommy can’t.
85. He lays down with me during my nap until I fall asleep.
86. He rushes home to see me when he gets off from work.
87. He calls during the day to check on me.
88. He goes to kiddie shows with me.
89. He watches my favorite shows over and over again.
90. He swings me when we walk.
91. He tells me stories.
92. He hides under my blanket with me.
93. He taught me how to reel in the fish.
94. He takes me to all kinds of neat places.
95. He listens to me when I talk to him.
96. He cleans up after me when I make a mess.
97. He always dresses me cute.
98. He lets me claim his drinks as my own!
99. He always smiles at me.
100. He prays for me every single day.

Now, Three Years Ago Today...

Three years ago today we had our retrieval from our first IVF that blessed us with our sweet Chase. When we were struggling with IF every day seemed like forever. The years dragged on and it felt like an eternity of waiting and disappointment. Now the days pass too quickly and what once felt like a lifetime could never possibly be long enough. I look at Chase and I'm amazed at how much can change in three short years. Miracles are everywhere!

Then: Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketNow:Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

On a note for this IVF journey we are three shots down already! Jeff picked it back up like an old pro and I think that deep down inside he really enjoys sticking me that 1 1/2 inch needle (although he claims that's not the case).

Here we go...

I had my d3 bloodwork/ultrasound this afternoon and all came back normal (who'd have guessed I was normal?) so we got the go ahead to start stims tonight! I can't believe we are to this point and I'm both thrilled and terrified!!!! I'll go register at the hospital tomorrow and then I'll go back on Friday for my next round of bloodwork and my ultrasound. Last time it took 13 days from this point to get to our retrieval, we'll see how it goes this time.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

IVF #1

For those interested, here is the link for our IVF journey w/Chase:

Saturday, June 16, 2007

For once I'm happy to see her...

AF (Aunt Flo for those not up on the lingo) has found her way to Texas and for once I'm happy to see her! I'll call Monday to see if we'll go in for our baseline that day or if they'll move it to Tuesday. I sure wish she would have made an appearance yesterday when I could have actually gotten in touch with someone. Oh well, at least this means we're on our way!

Friday, June 15, 2007

Mommy, what's that?

In February both Chase and I came down with the flu, despite his having the flu shot. I call it a hazard of my work environment since I'm constantly being touched, loved on, and patted by 22 six and seven year olds. You can only build so many immunities to those little suckers! Fortunately Chase's case was much more milder than mine and he was feeling better pretty quick. However, with the flu came his second double ear infection. We'd been pretty lucky until and he'd only had one ear infection before (a double) when he was a year old. That time it took five weeks to clear it out and three antibiotics, but it did eventually clear. This time didn't prove quite as easy. If you know Chase, he is not a complainer. It's hard to tell when he's sick. In fact, it's almost impossible. I don't know if he got tough when we battled reflux for the first 17 months of his life and learned to just deal with things or if he's like his Mommy and has a high pain tolerance, but one things for sure, he's a tough cookie. This can prove to be quite the challenge at times.

When the 2nd ear infection rolled around we fought hard. We went through two antibiotics and thought it was licked because he seemed fine. Then one day I caught a brief glimpse of him just not acting like himself and figured we'd better get it rechecked just to be safe. Sure enough after four weeks and two antibiotics, it was still raging. So, we went through 4 more weeks and two more antibiotics. By this time the ear infection had been brewing for a nasty 10 weeks and we were at our wits end. We decided to give a *super* antibiotic a try as our last hope, but due to fear of Chase building a immunity to antibiotics, we knew it was our last shot. 2 more weeks go by and it was even worse. Damn it! By now our pedi was worried about hearing loss and permanence of it, so we knew it was time to move on to an ENT. Chase talked and others could understand him, so we didn't really think it was a problem, but hearing is definitely not something to mess with.

The ENT got us in within days, guess 12 weeks with the same ear infection really is something to worry about. It broke my heart to know that Chase was 1) dealing with the pain and 2) thought it was normal. First thing on the list, a hearing test. I sat in a chair in a large box with Chase on my lap. The test administrator placed an instrument of sorts in Chase's ears and it read the vibrations that Chase produced in response to whatever she did. Failed...both. Crap. Then she closed us in the box and went around to a window on the other side. Inside the box with us were two tall speakers, one of which had a panda that played the drums on top and one that had a monkey that played the symbols. For the next 10 minutes or so she would ask Chase to point to certain things and play sounds through the speakers trying to entice Chase to turn his head in the particular direction. Every once in a while the monkey or panda would go hysterical beating on their given instruments. To be honest, I was surprised that Chase didn't freak out, but he didn't. When the test was completed, again we were told he failed and that he was showing hearing loss in one or both ears. Not what a mother wants to hear. As I sat w/my head spinning at that thought of my sweet baby boy suffering hearing loss, she either realized that that I was about to hyperventilate or cry and quickly reassured me that it was being caused by the fluid and would be restored as soon as we could get the fluid taken care of. What a relief, at least I could breath again.

We had been told that Dr. N was good, but true to all surgeons lacking in the whole bed-side manner thing. I truly expected a "to the point w/no softening it up" kind of guy, but I really felt that he truly cared not only about Chase, but about us. He looked at his chart and his ears and told us what we knew was coming, Chase would need tubes. Then the icing on the cake, Chase's hearing would be restored immediately! Two weeks later we had Chase's surgery and it was smooth sailing. I was a nervous wreck and cried as he was carried from my arms, but within 10 minutes Dr. N was in the room telling us that all had gone well and Chase was in recovery. I joke that the reason this surgery costs us so much was because Chase charmed the nurses and I don't think they put him down the entire time he was there. A nurse carried him to the surgery (and made the anesthesiologist push the bed - another extra charge I'm sure) and a nurse was carrying him when they took us to him. My boy is such a ladies man! Did I mention the cocktail they gave him turned him into a complete goofball?

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Now, on to the entire point of this overly long blog.... the hearing. Jeff and I never realized just how much this ear infection had truly affected Chase's hearing. After all he talked a lot and we could understand him, so we figured he was fine. Others could understand him, so it wasn't like he was speaking his own language either. But, in reality, there was a problem and looking back I can see it. I should have known when the night before his surgery a horrible storm blew through that I'm pretty sure involved a tornado. I woke up in a panic at the sounds, ran to look out the window, and minutes later part of our fence was blown down. I waited by Chase's door for him to wake up because if the thunder didn't scare him, then certainly the lightening would. He never even stirred, that should have been a dead give-a-way (but then again Jeff only woke up because I woke him up, so maybe it is genetic).

Immediately after the surgery we saw a change in our little doodlebug. We were at Memaw and Pawpaw's when a baby goat called out for it's mother. That was when it all started. Chase has been around the goats since he was born and surely knows the sound of a baby goat, right? Well he stopped dead in his tracks, turned to me, and said, "Mommy, what's that?" Like a sweet sound he had just heard for the first time. I replied that it was a baby goat calling for his Mommy to which he repeated, "Baby Goat" with a look of pure joy on his face. Second later the a/c kicked on and the scene was repeated, "Mommy, what's that?" "That was the air conditioner." "The air conditioner?" Another new and wonderful sound that he could hear. I will say that at his 2 week post-op, he did fail one hearing test, but only because there is still a blood-clot in his left ear and it was blocking the machines vibrations. In his ENT's book, surgery was a success and Chase has been released to his pedi.

Over the past month Chase's speech had skyrocketed and I realize just how bad it had been. I'm so thankful we got it fixed and I'm continually amazed at how Chase listens to everything and reminds me daily that we just need to slow down and enjoy the little things. He probably asks us, "what's that" a 100 times a day and when I catch myself getting frustrated I try to remind myself just how easily we never could have heard that question.

To end, I'll give you a synopsis of our bedtime last night. My mother and niece spent the night, so Chase slept with us. This is rare, so it's a treat... usually.

Everyone is in bed and all the lights are out.

"Mommy, what's that?" "That was the house creaking." "The House?" "Yes Chase, the house. Now let's go to sleep." "OK"

"Mommy, what's that?" "That was the computer making a noise." "The Computer? I type to my Daddy on the computer." "Yes Chase, you do. Now let's go to sleep." "OK"

"Mommy, what's that?" "That is Casper snoring, because HE'S sleeping." "That was Casper? I love Casper?" "I know you do Chase and Casper loves you. Now let's go to sleep." "OK"

"Mommy, what's that?" "That was Mommy yawning because she's tired." "Mommy yawning? I love my Mommy." "Mommy loves you too, now let's go to sleep." "OK"

Then our sweet one gave us both a kiss and only 30 minutes and 10 questions later, he drifted off to a sweet slumber.

Thank heaven for little ones, they teach us oh so much.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Yes, the thing you've really all been waiting for (you thought I didn't know)

Yes, I promise that I will try and put lots of Chase updates on this page. Just admit it, when we get right down to it that's who everyone is really interested in. Not me and my ramblings about shots and ultrasounds, but about our sweet, little Chase. So, just to make you happy here he is in all his glory! Nothing like a nice water bottle to wet his hair and Santa hat to complete the look (in April). He is quite the character.

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The Big Box 'O Meds

When you do IVF you are on lots of meds. By lots I mean you eventually get to the point that you have so many in your system you are probably glowing a pretty green color. Some of our meds were donated (God bless our RE and those people for that), some we purchased from individuals (when insurance doesn't cover it and it's costs $45/a vial, you find ways around that), and the rest we got from the pharmacy that specializes in this kind of *stuff*. I was so excited when the pharmacy called to tell me that all my meds but one had been covered, mind you, we didn't even try on some, because we already knew the insurance company would send us a laughing telegram for even attempting to have them cover something that is not "medically necessary".

My "big box 'o meds" arrived bright and early this morning via FedEx. Talk about making it hit home. I opened it up to find all my needles (damn there are a LOT of needles in there), antibiotics, Jeff's antibiotics, prenatals the size of my big toe, estrogen, patches (no, not for smoking), etc and immediately remembered just how much went in to all of this. Then I got to the important stuff... the receipts. I quickly decided I really loved how versatile the words, "everything was covered by your insurance" truly are since apparently that means it still cost you over $100 for this one, but hey your insurance company paid $3.00 towards it! Pretty damn exciting considering that will *almost* give me one gallon of gas in the Tahoe. I guess I've just been taking for granted how generous they really are in their coverage after all.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Really, I'm going to stick with it this time...

I think this is my fourth try at a blog. I say think because at this point, I'm not even sure anymore. I've tried to stick with it, really I have, I just seem to run out of time or find other things to do that seem a lot more interesting than boring people with my life! But just to humor those reading (and myself) I'm going to give it one last try!

I'm Kahla (a.k.a. Chase's Mommy) and I'm going to be 31 (how the hell did that happen) in about a month. I've been married to my bestfriend, Jeff, for almost 8 years now. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that we married and sometimes it seems like well... 8 years. After struggling with infertility we ventured into IVF in June of 2004 and were blessed with a bouncing baby boy, Chase, in March of 2005. He is definitely the center of our world and was worth everything we went through to get him.

Chase can be described in two words, "all boy." He loves to run, climb, jump, play hard, and get dirty doing it. Bugs, frogs, fish, snakes, dirt, blocks, cars, you name it he "LIKES IT." I can already tell that he's going to be a clone of his father and amazingly enough, I'm thrilled w/that!

As busy as we are, we have made the decision to once again pursue our dreams of adding to our family. Some days I think we are absolutely insane for taking this jump and others I can't wait to have another little one in the house. When we did IVF before we kept a blog of sorts of our journey for our friends to follow along and for us to have to look back on. We had lots of friends and family praying for us and we have no doubt, that the support recieved helped to bless us. It is my goal to do that with this journey as well. So, here goes nothing!

6/11/07 - I recieved my Lupron injection to suppress my system. I take my last birthcontrol pill (that is so weird to me) on Wed and AF should arrive in the next 5-7 days. On d3 I'll get my baseline ultrasound/bloodwork, Jeff will start his antibiotics, and that evening we start our stims. Let the games begin!