Almost 18 years ago I met Jeff and that's when this all started. I fell in love. Sure, I'd been in relationships in the past and I had loved others, but this was different. I was "in love." That kind of love where you would do anything for them and not give it a second thought. Where you'd lay down your life to save theirs, without a moment's hesitation. When you no longer put yourself and your needs first, but theirs. It's completely different and you know when it happens to you. I thought at the time, that those feelings, that "love," couldn't possibly get any stronger. Then, on March 7, 2005, they placed this tiny, perfect, baby boy on my chest. The baby boy that we had been through hell and back to conceive and bring into our family. At that exact moment, I realized that when you are "in love" with someone, there is no limit on how deep it can become. On October 12, 2009, I experienced it all over again with our perfect little princess, Emery, that we again had gone through hell and back to bring into this world. At that point we had gone through an IUI, 5 fresh IVF cycles, lost Chase's twin, and lost a set of twins. Feeling blessed to hold those two in our arms doesn't even begin to describe it. I was madly, deeply, totally, 100% in love with my little family. Who could possibly imagine that I would once again, hold yet a 2nd beautiful, perfect princess in my arms, the thought was literally uncomprehensible to me. Yet, that is exactly what happened.
For months we have known that we were expecting a baby girl. We've seen her, my stomach has grown, I've felt her sweet kicks and hiccups, we've prepared, there was a beautiful room waiting for her, she had a name, but somehow it still never really felt real. On Wednesday I went to my OB appointment to do one last check and see if Phoebe was back to heads-down. She was and and we were confirmed to check into the hospital at 7 that night to begin our induction. We picked the kids up from school, grabbed last minute things, and met Duchess to make the trade. One last picture of our family of 4, or so that's what I was being told.
We arrived at the hospital, it was chilly, raining, and quiet. They got us checked in and settled, then placed the cervidil to help my cervix prepare for delivery. The rest of the evening was nurses in and out, listening to Phoebe's heartbeat on the monitor, and pretty much no sleep. Thursday, March 10, 2016 arrived and around 5 they removed the cervidil and began our induction. Pitocin causes contractions to come fast and this time was no different. Although there, they were tolerable. I was at about 3 cm dilated and it was more of a waiting game. We were now on Phoebe's timeline and if she followed in the footsteps of her brother and sister, there would be nothing happening any time soon. It turns out that Phoebe, wanted a story all her own!
Around 11:30 the contractions were horrible and I was barely able to breath through them without tears. It took all I had to just close my eyes and breath. Our nurse was amazing and we decided that with still having such a long ways to go, an epidural would help ease some of the pain and help me relax to allow my body to keep going. The nurse decided to check our progress and stepped back with a complete look of bewilderment on her face. She said she wasn't sure what she had just felt, but it was definitely not Phoebe's head. It felt like either her nose or a hand. We also noticed that right about this time Phoebe's heartbeat was taking decelerations with each contraction from the 120's into the 60's. It is very scary to hear that on a monitor. Dr. F was called and there within minutes and confirmed that it was indeed a nose they were feeling and Phoebe was presenting herself face first instead of head down, which was causing her to hyper-extend her neck backwards during contractions. She wanted to try some position changes and see if we could get the little stinker to fix her positioning but said to call if the decelerations continued. After another 10 min or so I needed to go the restroom again and the nurse wanted to call Dr. F to see just how long we wanted to wait. Jeff and I came out of the restroom to my nurse already in her scrub hat and prepping for surgery, so apparently our wait limit was up. Basically Phoebe was under too much stress and it was time to get her out safely. The next hour was a whirlwind of activity. Dr. F walked in the door minutes later and my mom walked in about 2 minutes before we left to go the OR.
I actually walked to the OR because it was right across the hall. Dr. F asked what kind of music we listened to and I said Radio Disney because let's face it, they play good music and we have two kids. She laughed and said Kidsbop it is. I tried to remember what was really playing when Phoebe was born, but I can't. The surgery itself wasn't bad. Lots of tugging and pulling, but no pain. It's weird not being able to move your lower body though and it lasts a lot longer then one would think. Our sweet Phoebe Ann was born at 1:06 p.m., weighing 7 pounds 9 ounces and was 19 in long. Dark hair, blue eyes, basically looks just like her brother and sister, so pretty much perfect in every way! It actually turns out that not only was she face first, she also had her cord across her neck and one hand by her face, so there was no way she could have been delivered vaginally. Like I said, she wanted a story all her own!
I won't go into recovery, it's been fine, but c-sections are not for wimps for sure. As I said at the beginning of this post, almost 18 years ago I fell in love. However, I've not realized that not only have I fell in love, it's a love that there's no cure for and it's amazing!
****I am grateful for
1) a wonderful husband
2) an amazing son
3) a daughter that makes my heart smile
4) another daughter that was my icing on the cake
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