Monday, August 11, 2008

"...The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

Our number has continued to drop, it is over. Our RE is as sad as we are. I have to continue blood work every other day until my number goes back to zero and we will wait to m/c naturally at this point. Losing one baby was devastating, losing twins is almost unbearable. I now have three sweet angels in heaven, at least I know they are together. We have no answers as to why, everything had gone so well. We will try again, but I'm not sure when. We are required to take at least a one month break before starting again. The school year is beginning, we have a wedding out of state in October, and then the holidays will be here. I refuse to spend our holidays planning around IVF, so it really looks like it won't be until after the first of the year at this point. I guess we'll focus on enjoying the time between now and the next cycle and using it to get healthier and relaxed again. I am going to miss these babies, our one week with no worries was pure heaven. I wish I could have bottled it up to keep forever.

***I am grateful for
1) we are supposed to get rain tomorrow and with rain comes rainbows
2) no more ups and downs, at least we know now
3) we have each other still
4) this weekend we are planning on taking the boat out
5) God never gives us more than we can handle


Katie Baker said...

Gosh Kahla. We really hate to hear this. I've told many people about what you guys are going through. There have been many prayers. The prayers will not stop. We may not know why this happened now, but I know you guys are extremely strong. Please let us know if you need anything at all! We love you guys.

Mommy Daisy said...

((((BIG HUGS)))) Amen to #5. Keep the faith, my friend. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...


Thinking of you and Jeff...and am here if you need anything.
<3 alisa

Lathan, Lauren & Logan said...

Thinking of you...


Myrannda said...

Oh, honey. I'm so so so sorry. Call me if you need me, and you know I'm here.

I love you.

Anonymous said...

Your RE sounds so wonderful and compassionate and with the kind of loss you went through, I am thankful you have that kind of support. Thinking of you and praying for you both as you work through the grieving and healing process.

Kim said...

I am so sorry Kahla!!

crayonmommy said...

So sad for you guys, Kahla. Just hug onto Chase so tight and love him. He'll help you get through it. What a miracle he is! Praying for ya'll!

Anonymous said...

So sorry, well said, the good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh. Take consolation in the fact that "in his own time he makes things beautiful". the good lord will never give us something we cannot carry, at this point it all seems lost, only one set of footprint in the sand but remember he hasn't left you, he is carrying you. After 12 years of infertility I had a natural pregnancy and lost it, i was so sad, but barely a year later I had another perfect and handsome little boy who is full of joy, that was when I said, indeed it is the good lord who giveth. Your second blessing will surely come sooner than you expect

Rooney's Little Musings said...

I have no words except I am so sorry. I know you are hurting, and I wish I could help.
My heart breaks for you because I know the overwhelming desire to have a child.

God is with you even when you don't feel it.



April said...

Oh, Kahla! I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that when our trials become heavy, it is so hard to see how this could be part of a great plan, but I pray that when it is the right time, you will at least understand enough to feel peace. Our hearts and prayers are with you in this difficult time.