Hanging by a Thread

Yes, I'm still here. Tuesday meant back to work for me and back to the sitter for Chase. Neither of us were overly thrilled. After being off for the summer our schedules are completely out of whack and the mornings seem to be coming awfully early. I'm hoping that we'll be back on track soon.

I had been so excited about going back to school and telling everyone Chase was going to be a big brother. Obviously that was not the case after all, which made going back pretty darn difficult. We always start off with the usual introduction and big announcements so I braced myself for the inevitable. I know that one of our new teachers is pg and due just days away from my due date, but she did not say anything. Not sure if it's because she's new or if it's because she's still early, but no doubt the big announcement will hit soon enough. I was shocked that the only pg announcement was actually a grandmother-to-be announcement, but greatly relieved. I did find out that a couple of teachers are trying, so surely there will be more announcements before the year is out. What can you do, eh? I had tried very hard to prepare myself for the congratulations and then the I'm so sorries, but boy can people catch you off guard. I won't go into all the details, but I was very proud of myself... I only cried three times. Not bad. Today I even managed to tell our old nurse about the babies w/o crying. It was hard, but I muddled through!

I know that this is going to be something I feel forever, but I am really trying to move on. I feel the need to be happy, not just for me, but for Jeff and Chase. They deserve a happy wife and a happy mother. In my heart I know that our journey is not over. I will be a Mommy again. I have prayed for this and I believe the Lord will bless us with another baby, therefore I know that it will be.

***I am grateful for
1) the four free iT.unes downloads Jeff sent me... woohoo baby!
2) Tomorrow is our 9 year anniversary, wow, 9 years!
3) The sore throat I had yesterday seems to be gone!
4) Chase ran up to greet me and give me a huge hug when I got home today, man I love that boy
5) We got some more rain today, boy did our yard need it!