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Thursday evening I miscarried our sweet babies. It was painful emotionally, painful physically, and painful mentally. We were 6 weeks and 6 days. They were so very tiny, not even completely formed yet... but is was very obvious what they were as they passed about 45 minutes apart. I guess even up until the end you think maybe, just maybe this is a bad dream and isn't really happening. Now there is no denial, they are gone. To my body it is now just like a regular period with cramping, so maybe it is moving on. In a way I am relieved this part is over because knowing it was coming and waiting for it to happen was awful. It also means that my number will bottom out and I can quit going for blood work. But then it makes me feel so empty and numb. I should be going for ultrasounds and OB appointments, but that won't be happening. My babies are gone.
**I am grateful for
1) Chase cuddling while we watch cartoons in the morning, even if it's only for a few minutes
2) moving forward
3) the worst of the m/c is over (I hope)
4) tomorrow we have church, I think I need it
5) the weekend is here
A trip! A trip!
10 years ago
5 comments:
I AM SO VERY VERY SORRY. I HAVE BEEN THERE. TIME IS THE ONLY THING THAT HEALS US. I LOST A 13 DAY OLD AND ALSO A MISCARRIAGE. I TRUELY AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSSES. I FINALLY DID GET A LITTLE ONE THAT I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR. I THANK GOD FOR HER EVERYDAY. FOR SHE IS A GIFT FROM GOD.
Kahla,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have been through miscarriages and know that it is a difficult thing to endure. I will keep praying for you and am here if you need anything.
Kelley
**hugs** I'm so sorry.
Oh Kahla...there just aren't words. I am holding you in my heart and prayers and will continue to pray for your healing on every level.
Sending you so much love,
Courtney
Kahla,
Your words are so sweet. I don't fully understand your particular pain, but I do feel so bonded to you by our shared grief and our shared hope.
You are NOT egocentric, I have agonized over wanting to tell you when things were going well, but not being confident in my own situation, and then agonized over saying something during a difficult time for you. I pray for you everyday and will continue to. You are so strong.
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