Saturday, April 12, 2008

Why does it have to be so damn hard?

Today we went to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate Memaw's birthday. Memaw, for those that don't know, is Jeff's mother. Chase is adamant that no matter who you are, you WANT to celebrate your birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's, so that's what we do. Normally this is not a problem but either the fact that the teacher I work with that is due just a week before we would have been is really starting to show or the fact that I feel like in just a few months I'll be turning 32 which puts me one year closer to being that dreaded age of 35 (you know, when apparently your body goes to crap and your eggs go sour or something of that affect) is really doing a number on me. I swear that there must have been 50 women in there with brand-new babies or pregnant and glowing. It made me want to run straight out the door. *sigh* That should be me.

I think about life and tell myself we did everything right. We dated, got engaged, got married, built a house, graduated from college, had steady, good jobs, then decided we wanted to start a family. Perhaps if we took our wedding rings off, went to a bar, pretended not to know each other, went to a sleazy motel, and had meaningless sex I'd get knocked up. (Sorry Mom, just ignore that sex part.) I just want a healthy baby, why does it have to be so damn hard?