The last few days have been some of the worst of my life. The last few months we have noticed a few things with Molly that we just chalked up to getting older, she was 9 1/2, and never gave it a second thought. Things like not being able to jump on the bed very well, missing a stair, and the most recent, peeing in a chair (very unlike her, she NEVER did that). Wednesday mornign when we left for work she was fine, her normal self. Then at 5:30 I got a phone call from Jeff saying that I had to get home right away because something was wrong with Molly. Fortunately my school is only about three minutes from our house, so Chase and I came straight home. When we walked in Molly had vomited and defecated (which she then walked all through), and was laying on our kitchen floor unable to move, drooling profusely, cold to the touch, and non-responsive. We rushed her to our vet where her heart was beating at 220 beats a minute and they said they think she had probably been having seizures most of the day and was in shock. They got her stable, started an IV, put her on meds to stop her brain from swelling and ran a stat EKG. I worked for a vet for years and could tell by the way they were talking that it was not good.
Chase had freaked out so we had my MIL come get him and Emery to get them away from the craziness and his mind on something else.
Once we had Molly stable, we transferred her to the emergency clinic for overnight care. Their biggest concern was that she had a brain tumor. We prayed that during the night we would see some kind of improvement, but Molly continued to seize and remained on valium and anti-swelling drugs in order to keep her from being in pain. The next morning, Jeff transferred her back to our vet.
Thursday afternoon Jeff and I made the decision to let Molly go as her prognosis was not good and I couldn't bare to think of her in pain and we both knew she could not live on valium the rest of her life. I thought it best, and Jeff agreed, that Chase not be present when we went to say goodbye. Our Molly was gone and I didn't want to have Chase see her in that condition and I knew he would never understand why his dog didn't recognize him. At 4:55, our sweet Molly earned her wings. It was one of the hardest decisions we have ever made.
Looking back, I think those little signs were leading up to this. Especially the one where she peed in the chair a couple of weeks ago. I have no doubt she had a seizure, since that happens with one. They offered to do a necropsy on her, but we chose not to because we couldn't bare them doing that to her. In the end, our vet feels it was some type of cancer. I hate cancer.
Molly was Chase's bestfriend, his constant companion. She was our baby before we had babies. She was Emery's playmate and a guardian to us all. I have no doubt that she would have laid her life down for any one of us. Our little family will forever have a hole because of her death. She was the perfect dog.
Chase has not had a very good weekend. He's having a difficult time understanding it all. His birthday is tomorrow, so that does not help any. We have chosen not to get another dog right now and will probably let him pick out another bulldog this summer when we have his birthday party (we are waiting so he can have it at the water park). I miss Molly so much, it was an awesome 9 1/2 years with her, but I sure would have liked to have 9 1/2 more.
****I am grateful for
1) Molly, she was the best dog ever
2) those 9 1/2 years, thank you Lord for letting her be in our lives
3) time to heal the pain
4) Molly is not suffering anymore
5) The twins and Molly are playing in heaven, and one day, we'll all be together again
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