Keep your eye on the prize!

**Warning: Ecstatic rambling ahead!**

Infertility = IVF = crappy insurance companies don't pay = a LOT of debt.

As much as I wish I could say we did, Jeff and I don't exactly rake in the big bucks. Especially here lately. Jeff is a surveyor for a very small company that is doing good to hold it's head above water in the current state of the economy. His boss is awesome and he's worked for the company for almost 20 years. That's a big deal, not many 39 year olds have been at their job for that long. Sadly, things are rough right now and we're doing our best to hold out until things turn around. As for me, teachers don't make squat. Let's face it, we don't teach for the income! Also, I'm the insurance carrier so by the time they take all the goodies (medical insurance, dental insurance, vision, disability, life insurance, insurance in case a crazy parent wants to sue me... you get the picture) out of my check, it's missing a huge chunk.

When we learned we would have to do IVF all those years ago we had just started building a new house. A wonderful, big, beautiful layout, perfect for parties, house. So, we were faced with a decision. Break our contract and do IVF or build the house and maybe do IVF down the road some day. It was a no brainer and within a week, we had broken our contract. I don't think we could have made a better decision.

Over the years and five, 100% self-pay, IVFs, the debt has piled up. Our RE is awesome and tried to help, but even with some discounts and donated meds, the costs were unbelievable. So, we went with a company and got it all worked out and have been paying since November 2006. As we added IVFs, we increased our payments. However, today we can officially say that IVFs #1, 2, 3, and 5 are officially paid off and the kids cannot be repo'd! Words do not even describe how thrilled I am. It took us 5 years and 1 month and over $40,000 but we did it! Now all we have to do is pay off IVF #4 and we are done. (Have I ever mentioned how hard it is to pay on an IVF that didn't work or you lost your precious miracles? Cause if I haven't, it sucks.) So many times I thought we'd never get here, but I was determined to keep my eye on the prize and we made it! I think it's the first time I've ever been happy to actually see money leave my account because I knew that money meant an end of an era!!!

Someone told me that IVF was not a debt and that I should look at it as an investment. Ummm, it's a debt. I'd be willing to do it a million times over, but it's still a debt. I should have been able to spend that money ON my kids, not trying to have them.

Someone else said, my kids were priceless. They are priceless, but imagine if I'd been able to put over $40,000 away for their college. IVF was not priceless, it cost us a great deal. But again, we'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

It's funny how people that have never had to spend money just to have a child say things. I guess it just goes to show that I know God's favor and blessings in a totally different way than others. I may have had to pay a small fortune, but my children will always know just how much they were wanted!!

****I am grateful for
1) 4/5 of our IVFs are paid off!!!!
2) final payments
3) new beginnings
4) cold, cold, cold weather
5) lights are up, tree is up (although part is not lighting up... grrrr), and stockings are hung!