Thank You Jesus by Emery

When Chase was in Pre-K, he was in a private Christian school and they always sang the blessing before snacks and lunch. To this day he still sings it and now he's taught it to Emery. It just melts my heart! He is such a good big brother and she almost has the whole thing down. Not bad for a 2 1/2 year old, but then again, she had a really good teacher!

****I am grateful for
1) little voices
2) big brothers that teach wonderful things
3) all our blessings
4) things that we remember forever
5) 29 days of school until summer break!

Prayers for Wade!

OK, I need my prayer warriors to get to praying! Jeff's cousin, Wade, whom I've mentioned before that is battling cancer has hit a bump in the road. I'm going to call it a bump because I believe that God can get him past this. Here is the update from his wife, Katie, that was posted on Thursday:

I know many of you are wondering what's going on with Wade. For the last couple of weeks, he's been having these times where he struggles to breathe. It's very scary. They were thinking he had fluid in his lung so he had a CT scan today. The scan showed his left lung completely closed from the tumors. The right lung has a tumor that has grown onto his airway. That is why he's struggling. Unfortunately, there's nothing that can be done. Please pray for Wade, his healing and his comfort.

Please pray, pray, pray! For strength, healing, comfort. Wade is one of the strongest people I've ever known and we are not ready to say good-bye!

****I am grateful for
1) comfort
2) strength
3) healing
4) God is a good and is capable of anything
5) prayers

3 weeks to the day, 2 people we loved

Yesterday morning my great-aunt passed away. I am sad. I was not technically named after her, but my name is Kahla Ann and hers was Ann Kahla so she liked to claim I was. She was a wonderful lady, beautiful inside and out. She was 87 and had been married to my Uncle Joe for 70 1/2 years, literally a lifetime. The last report we had gotten, she was doing better. I can't help but picture that her husband, children, and grandchildren are going through what we did just three weeks ago. Waiting and thinking, "Oh good, things are getting better." And then suddenly they are not better, they are a zillion times worse and can't be fixed.

Once again my heart is aching for my Nana. When she called yesterday morning it was early, we were all still asleep. I knew something was wrong before the words were out of her mouth. She is devastated. Nana was the youngest of three and the only girl. She was 6 when her brother married Ann. She was literally like a sister to Nana. She watched her grow up and they became very close friends. As Nana cried over the phone and said, "I just lost my husband, now I've lost my only sister," I cried silent tears for her, for my other family members, for the pain that is running rampant in our family right now that can't be stopped.

I am leery that things are not going to be better any time soon. Jeff's grandfather, Greatpa, is in the hospital and not doing well at all. He has been losing weight, not eating, and wanting to sleep a lot. He got what they thought was thrush in his mouth, but even with treatment it continued to get worse. To the point he 100% would not eat and his mouth was bleeding and oozing. They took him to the ER and they were told it was throat cancer. Fortunately it's not. Instead they believe he is having a reaction to something, possibly his arthritis medicine. He was admitted to the hospital immediately, put on morphine and re-hydrated. They've done some blood work, but we have very little information right now and apparently the doctors are not answering questions or even really talking to family like they should. We do know his platelet count is an 8, which is much too low, and that he is at an extremely high risk for infection which could be fatal. Because of this, visitors have been very limited and we have not been up there. There is no way he could see the kids, which I hate, but 100% agree with and understand. If anyone knows how germy kids are, it's me! Jeff and I are going to go up later today and can see him if we where masks, gloves. I'm going to take a picture of the kids up to him. I'm so worried. Jeff does not think his grandfather will make it out of the hospital, I have that same fear. I pray we are both wrong.

****I am grateful for
1) any prayers sent our way
2) family that is always there for you
3) pictures, because I can take him that
4) my husband, having him by my side always makes things a little more bearable
5) the love between my children

Prayers needed

I've mentioned Jeff's cousin that is battling cancer on here before to ask for prayers and now I'm going to do it again. Wade is 6 days older than I am, that is so young. He is a son, a brother, a father, a husband, a cousin, a friend. He is one of the nicest guys I know and I adore both him and his wife. They are some of my favorite in-laws. They have a little boy and a little girl. He has been battling cancer for many years now. It's been a lot of up and a lot of down. Recently the news was that all of the spots had grown and they ended up starting a trial pill form of chemo this last weekend. Then he started coughing up blood. For fear of getting the details wrong (my head just swirls as I listen because I have a hard time comprehending that something so bad can happen to someone so nice) I will just say that the news has not gotten better. I can't imagine what Wade and Katie are feeling, I can't imagine what his parents are feeling. You have a child that you would do anything to protect and yet something is attacking them that you can't control. Just can't comprehend it at all. If you have minute, it doesn't take long, please lift them up in your prayers. For strength, for healing, for understanding, for a miracle. I would be forever grateful.

****I am grateful for
1) family that prays
2) friends that pray
3) knowing God hears our prayers
4) having faith
5) knowledge that we are never alone, no matter how alone we might feel

MIA

Wow, totally MIA on you. In my defense I left early Saturday morning to go to Ohio and visit my friend that lost her four day old son in November. It was a great trip under the circumstances and very hard to leave, although it was hard to be gone! I missed Jeff and the kids more than words can say!!!!

They live in Marblehead, Ohio, which is about as north as you can get without going in to Canada. To say it was chilly is an understatement, but I loved it! It is a tiny town that sits right on Lake Erie and is absolutely beautiful! They have an old lighthouse and all these gorgeous houses. Everything was covered in snow and looked like a postcard. Jessica and I managed to get most of her Christmas shopping done, caught up on things, went site-seeing, and overall just spent some much needed time together. Her oldest, Caitlynn, was one of our flower girls when we got married. She was three. She's now 14 and almost 6 inches taller than me. Everett is in third grade and very smart. Then the youngest, Isaac, is 16 months old and just freaking adorable! I'm sure it's because he's so close to Emery's age, but I could have just packed him up and brought him home with me!

As hard as it was to leave, I went ahead and drove back to Cleveland late Monday evening so that I wouldn't have to make the hour and a half drive Tuesday morning. I got up at 2:30 our time yesterday to return the rental car and catch the red-eye home because I just couldn't be away any longer. It is so nice to be home, but I already miss Jessica and the kids. I wish they would move back down here, but I understand that sometimes we don't get what we want.

The kids did great while I was gone and as always, Jeff was Superdad. Man I love him! I'm pretty sure they missed me as much as I missed them though because I'm not allowed more than about two feet away from either one. If one's not in my lap, the other is! Not to mention Jeff said that Emery had slept all night, every night while I was gone, but sure enough, last night she was awake and calling for Mama. That's OK, I was more than happy to snuggle (although I'm totally, completely exhausted).

If you have time to say a prayer, please send one Jessica's way (and Chris, Caitlynn, Everett, and Issac). Obviously she is still having a very hard time with Simon's death, but I have a feeling this is going to be even more difficult time just because of the holidays. Thanks!

***I am grateful for
1) a wonderful trip
2) a safe trip
3) time spent with old friends
4) being home with my babies and Jeff
5) stepping stones

A heavy heart and a prayer request.

I met Jessica when I was in third grade. Then we both moved away, I actually moved out of the state and then back, and somehow we wound up back at the same school in 8th grade. We were best friends, celebrated good times, and weathered the bad. As with any friendship we've had bumps and we've always managed to overcome them. Her daughter was my littlest flower girl and she was a bridesmaid, I was her matron of honor. Lives have changed and paths have forked. She is living in Ohio, my littlest flowergirl is now a freshman in high school, and she has two baby brothers, one that is just a couple of months older than our Princess. On Wednesday, Jessica gave birth to her fourth child, a beautiful baby boy named Simon Griffin. He looked just like his big brothers and was precious. I wished I could be there to hold him and meet him face to face. Then this morning I received the worst news I could possibly imagine. A message that said, "I need you to come to Ohio if possible, Simon died this morning." I couldn't believe what I was reading. It has felt like a horrible dream that you can't wake up from. My heart is broken into a million pieces for Jessica and Chris (and their family) and I can't even imagine what they are going through. Anyone who knows me well, knows that after my sister died of SIDS this is truly one of my biggest fears in life. I feel like this is the first time in 25+ years that I don't know how to comfort her and make things better. If you have a moment to say a little prayer that they feel God's love during this time, I would be forever grateful. I am totally devastated for them.

****I am grateful for
1) I have a ticket waiting for when I need to go to Jessica's side
2) my mother who is giving me that ticket
3) God's love, especially in those darkest times
4) time
5) prayers

Oops, I did it again!

Ack, I whole entire week without posting. Are ya'll still around? You know, since I'm sure you've been hanging by a thread waiting for my updates. Stalking my blog daily, hourly. ;o) Actually, we just had a really busy week. I have a whole blog post that I'm in the midst of writing that is all about Chase and his accomplishment this past Friday. It'll be up later today... I promise!

Now for the not so good stuff:

My heart is very heavy today. My cousin, Rachael, the one that Chase was a ring bearer for in October 2008, lost her MIL today. She had been battling cancer and I know this was expected but that doesn't make it any less painful. I simply can't imagine losing your mother, much less losing her at such a young age. My heart it just broken for them. Please send a prayer their way, to Josh and Rachael, along with the rest of their family.

My grandmother also lost her BIL (well, ex BIL, but him and his wife had remained close to her) yesterday. Bessie and Dave were married for over 50 years, I just can't imagine losing your spouse like she has. Please send prayers to her and her son.

Third, Jeff's Great-Aunt Margie had a massive stroke yesterday. Apparently his cousin has been told that the prognosis is poor. :o( His cousin is devastated. Please send prayers to them as well.

Thanks in advance!
Kahla

****I am grateful for
1) time that was spent with family
2) memories of the past that will be with you in the future
3) prayers
4) support
5) new life

Layla Grace

The other day I mentioned Layla Grace (http://www.laylagrace.org/) and how her family needed prayers. Sweet Layla has gone to heaven and my heart is completely and totally broken for this family. Please stop by their page, show a little love, and send a little prayer for them. I simply cannot even imagine going through what they have, but I'm so thankful that Layla is not suffering anymore. I have cried many, many tears for Layla and her family. Rest in peace sweet Layla, I didn't know you, but oh how you touched my heart.

~ Kahla

****I am grateful for
1) Sweet Layla touched so many
2) Layla is pain free
3) prayers for Layla's family during this time, it's always hardest on those left behind
4) my healthy children, please Lord always keep them that way
5) celebrations of life

Prayers Please

My cousins' grandfather just got diagnosed with cancer. You can read more on Randi's blog here. As you can imagine, they are scared at the diagnosis and hopeful that everything will be OK. Please take a moment to send some prayers their way! Thanks!

~Kahla

****I am grateful for
1) Thursday, one more day until the weekend!
2) warm jackets
3) heaters in cars
4) my Ug.gs that I've had since before they were popular (read over a decade) and yet they are still warm and comfy
5) sweet tea in the morning

Prayers for Baby Keaton ASAP

You can read about Baby Keaton here. He is the newborn son of an Internet friend that I met on an IF support board years ago. She has son, Nolan, that is just a little younger than Chase and then two week old twin boys, Brogan and Keaton. Brogan is home after a NICU stay, but Keaton has a serious heart condition and will be having surgery today. I can't imagine what they are going through and my heart aches for them. Please take a few seconds to send a prayer for this sweet baby boy, his surgeons/medical team, and his family and he undergoes heart surgery today. Thanks!

~Kahla

****I am grateful for
1) I made it out of bed this morning, even if it was late!
2) The kids all had a safe and fun holiday (although they did NOT want to come back to school)
3) prayers for Baby Keaton!
4) medicine and science to help Baby Keaton!
5) miracles

A Prayer Request

Please send prayers for Brent, Stacie, and Max. Brent and Stacie are 20 weeks pregnant with Max's baby sister and learned yesterday that she has a huge brain mass. As of right now they have been told that best case scenario the baby will be blind or deaf but most likely she is brain dead or severely brain damaged. They are awaiting more tests and appointments, but as you can imagine they are devastated. As a parent, I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through. If you have a moment, it just takes a few previous seconds, send some prayers that their appointments will show that their sweet baby girl will be OK. God works miracles every day, we have that proof.

Thank you!
~Kahla

***I am grateful for
1) prayers
2) friends
3) taking time
4) Fridays
5) miracles

Our Pumpkin is a Honeydew-Melon!! (35 weeks/35 days to go!!!!!!)

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight. (www.babycenter.com)

I have more baby shower pics to post, I'm just so tired by the evenings that I don't have the energy to do it! This weekend I am hoping to get the letters for her room painted, the strip on her wall painted (we decided to paint instead of chair rail due to time/$), and then start organizing her room some. We are also going to get the car cleaned out and install her car seat that arrived today!!!! I think if we can get her room a little more "done" then I'll feel better.

I have my next OB appointment on Monday and they'll be doing an ultrasound to monitor her movements. I'm hoping to get a weight estimate too. If they don't I got back in on the following Monday for a growth ultrasound and I should know more on a possible induction date at that time.

If you didn't notice in the title, today is a big milestone! I'm 35 weeks pregnant with 35 to go, yipppeeee!!! I can't wait to hold this baby girl, safe in my arms!

On a side note DH's cousin is going through chemo again right now. They have two small children and I can only imagine how hard this is (I've mentioned him on here before). You can read his wife's blog by finding it on my sidebar, "My Life." Please send some prayers for them during this time!

Have a great week, it's almost the weekend in my book!!!




***I am grateful for
1) hump day
2) 35 weeks!
3) 35 days to go (although we know I probably won't go that long)
4) indoor plumbing (seriously, I'm very grateful for it, especially now)
5) prayers for Wade!

Tomorrow is a big day for Chase!

Last Thursday night we had Meet the Teacher at Chase's school and he was pretty excited. We had gotten the postcard from his teacher, Miss. Caren, the night before and he made us read it to him time and time again. As soon as we walked into his class (Station 8) a co-worker of mine came over and asked me if Chase was in that room. She was so glad to hear me say yes because her little girl is also in that room! If I had only know ahead of time I so would have arranged some playdates this past summer so they could have gotten to know each other! It turns out that there are 21 kids in his class and a teacher with two aides. I think that's a pretty good ratio for 4 year olds! At first Chase was very shy and didn't want to leave our sides, but after a while he sat at his seat (he has four other kids at his table and is in between two girls) to color and then went to play with a Dora kitchen on the other side of the room. I was kinda happy he felt secure enough to venture away from us and then he wanted to keep playing when it was time to leave! When we finished talking with his teacher and headed out the door there were two rainbows right in front of us... I'm a rainbow girl and I'm taking that as a good sign!!!!

He seems pretty excited about tomorrow being his first day, but told us yesterday that he may be a little bit scared. We have reassured him that it's OK to be scared, but he's going to have so much that he won't be scared for long. Jeff and I are both going in late tomorrow so that we can take him to school and not be rushed. I am so scared that it'll be a rough goodbye, so if you have some extra prayers for a smooth morning and a great day for Chase, please send them our way!!! Just the thought of leaving my sweet baby there makes my eyes leak a little!!!

TIA!




***I am grateful for
1) Miss. Caren, I think she is going to be great with Chase!
2) Both Jeff and I can go in late to take Chase in the morning
3) Sundays, who doesn't love a good Sunday
4) a better nights sleep last night
5) Chase's first day of school, please let it go well Lord!!!!

Please Pray for Stellan

Stellan and his family desperately need your prayers. Please click above to read his story and updates.




***I am grateful for
1) prayers
2) my healthy little boy
3) my healthy little girl
4) what little bit of summer vacation we have left!
5) kicks

Say a little prayer.

I have been a horrible blogger lately and I'm so sorry. This time of year is so busy and I find myself working later and harder (if that's possible) and then on the nights I do get home at a decent hour I'm completely exhausted! We had a great weekend, pedicure, haircut, crawfish boil, family time, you get the picture. Exactly how I like them. I have pics (as usual) to share, but they'll have to wait because I have a prayer request to throw out there. A teacher I work with is 31 weeks with a baby boy (1st child) and is leaking amniotic fluid. An ultrasound showed very little fluid and she has been hospitalized until they decide what to do. Please send a little prayer that God will watch over her and her precious baby boy and all will be OK. I don't know her real well (we teach on different teams), but I can only imagine the fear she is feeling. Thanks!




**I am grateful for
1) prayers
2) Monday is over!
3) 22 days of school left... can I get a woot woot???!?!
4) no flu up our way so far
5) a wonderful weekend

Praying for Stellan

Stellan is still fighting hard in the PICU and we are saying our prayers constantly for him to be healed. God has worked miracles before and I have no doubt he will again. After karate we decided to swing by the Bluebonnets (my favorite!) and take a pic to send for Stellan's name gallery. We're thinking of you Stellan, keep fighting!!!




***I am grateful for
1) Stellan was having a very good day!
2) God works miracles
3) the Bluebonnets (more pics coming soon)
4) TGIF tomorrow!!!!
5) The weekend, although it's rather packed

Pray for Stellan

I'm at work and can't really post, but please pray for Stellan! click on his name to read more

Remembering to Breathe

Tomorrow is Chase's surgery. We've been through this, I know what to expect, everything will be OK. So why do I dread tomorrow and feel like I'm climbing the walls? I hate, hate, hate that he will be under anesthesia and be in surgery. I remember last time when they took him from my arms. I felt like I couldn't breathe and the walls were closing in. The tears came fast and hard. He was fine as they took him. He'd had his loopy juice and was giddy. I was devastated. He is older now, what if tomorrow he isn't OK when they take him. What if he cries? How will I let him go? What will I do? I'm not sure I can handle it.

The surgery itself was short, 20 minutes after they took him the surgeon was in the room talking to us and telling us everything went well. But those 20 minutes felt so long, like hours and hours. 20 minutes after that we were allowed into the recovery room and I scooped my baby up and rocked him while I cried even more... this time tears of relief. God I hate that we are having to do this again. I hate that tomorrow they will take him from me and I will watch as they carry him away. If only I can remember to breathe, maybe it'll be OK.

Please send prayers, for my Doodlebug and for me. Pray that his surgery will go smoothly and that he will do well. Pray that it will have no complications and will be successful. Pray that I remember to breathe and stay calm. Thank you.

Hugs,



**I am grateful for
1) this time tomorrow, surgery will be over
2) the prayers we will receive
3) a brave doodlebug
4) healing
5) bubble baths

Prayer Request

Tomorrow Baby Stellan will be entering the world. Please say a little prayer for him that he is born healthy and safe. To read the full story (and boy what a story it is) please click here.




**I am grateful for
1) tomorrow Stellan will be born with prayers surrounding him
2) tomorrow is hump-day!
3) cool weather
4) showers and quiet time
5) lower gas prices

I will sing his praise!

I think I've said it before, but I'm a prayer. If I haven't said it, I like to pray. There... I'm outted. I am trying to teach Chase to pray. Not just as bedtime or supper, but whenever he feels like it. Although it is SUPER cute when he folds his little hands up at the dinner table and prays with us or how he asks God to bless everyone and everything at night from our family and friends to Shrek and Fiona the Goldlfish. I believe prayers are answered. Chase is my proof of that and he reminds me every single day how important prayers are. I'm working really hard on this right now, remembering how important prayers are, and not just when I want something. Although it's ok to pray then too, you know, when you want something. My biggest challenge is I'm a closet prayer. I like to do it alone, as in all by myself and not with other people around or listening or praying with me. I'm not comfortable in those situations, but I want to get over that. Praying with Chase outloud is my first step.

Anyway, back to prayers. I have asked for prayers a lot lately. For family that is having difficult times, friends that are struggling, and for us during this IVF cycle. I'll admit I don't want to have to do IVF again. I would, but I don't want to. I want to give Chase a sibling and be done. I'm tired of the shots/pokes (hey, I'm at 52 just for this round, but who's counting) and I'm tired of the overall physical, emotional, and financial strain it puts on us. Yes, it has brought Jeff and I much closer, but I don't want to have to do it anymore. I just want to be a wife and a Mommy and close this chapter of our lives. Anyway, I have prayed for strength during this cycle. Strength to make it through, strength to accept the outcome, and strength to not totally, completely obsess 24 hours a day making myself and my family complete basket cases. Most of the time, it's worked.

I had told myself on Monday when I didn't have to booster my HCG that it was a good sign because my body was doing what it should. However, in IVF #3 I didn't have to booster with my second blood work either. Then on my 3rd blood work my numbers had plateaued and I did. It was downhill from there. So today was that day. I joked with my nurse this morning that, "I'm a little bloated, a little crampy, my boobs are killing me thanks to the progesterone, and every once in a while a feel a little icky which is probably all in my head. So a bunch of stuff that means absolutely nothing!" She just laughed and said, well it could mean something.... or it could be the meds. ACK! She also said that boostering is not bad, but I've been there, I know it's the beginning of the end. Anyway, I just got the call and we do not need to booster!! I repeat, we do NOT need to booster!!!!!!! That means my number is going up on it's own!!!! Please let this be a good sign!!! I said, "No boosters is a good thing, right?!?!" She just laughed and said, "Yes, no boosters are a good thing!" Keep those prayers coming, I think we just might be on the right path here!!!

***I am grateful for:
1) NO BOOSTER
2) my embryos that are snug inside me and hopefully staying!
3) dreams
4) the smile on my face
5) the joy in my heart