it will never forget.
I find myself wishing that I could just stop thinking about the babies. That I could move on, focus on the now, and to just forget the pain. The problem is that my wishing is not actually doing anything. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to move on. I've decided that a negative from our last IVF would have been so much easier to deal with than the loss of the twins has been. I wouldn't be mourning the children that we lost, I would just be mourning the dream that didn't come true. I think that would have been so much easier.
***I am grateful for
1) patience (when I have it)
2) quiet times
3) Tomorrow is Payday... thank God!
4) love
5) surprise kisses
It's o.k. to think about your babies, they are your babies! I know I can't stop thinking about our first or Henry either.
ReplyDeleteThey are your children and you are separated from them, that should never happen.
Sending some hugs--I think you are right that losing these little babies is much harder than a negative beta would have been. It just is different and it will take time to heal and you probably never will forget these little ones--I don't forget the little boy we lost up in New York and it's been well over a year now. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself room to grieve. Praying for you as you go through this difficult time!
ReplyDelete~Courtney