Oops, I did it again!

Apparently four days without a blog post can stir up quite the panic, I'm so sorry about that! Don't worry, all is well in the Larson household, we've just been really busy and really tired. I did have another ultrasound on Thursday and Pumpkin was measuring right on track. Still no heartbeat, but again they said it was too early and nothing to worry about. However, I have been having major abdominal pain on the right side and apparently that was perhaps a little something to worry about so I was scheduled for an ultrasound on Friday w/Dr. G.

When Dr. G came into the room on Friday he told me that everything look great w/Pumpkin and I said I'd feel much better when I saw a heartbeat. To that he responded, "Well there it is right there, with a little movement too." Sure enough, when he got still w/the ultrasound I saw that beautiful, tiny flicker that brought tears to my eyes. The reason he had me come in was because he is concerned about a heter.otopic pregnancy (one in the uterus, one in the tube). Long story short my right ovary is still huge, still behind my uterus, and has several cysts. He could not rule out the heter.otopic pregnancy but he's hoping the cysts are the source of the pain. Worst case scenario and it was heter.otopic they can remove that baby and still save Pumpkin. I am actually feeling much better right now though, so I'm guessing the cysts are the culprit for the pain. I won't go into all the way TMI details but I think everything is just fine! Next ultrasound will be on Tuesday. As Dr. Gill left he told me congratulations and how happy he was for us, I guess in a way that really made it feel official. If he thinks congratulations are in order, then this must be the real thing.

Chase is busy as normal. It's hard for me to believe that in one week my baby will be four! How did that happen? It feels like we waited a lifetime for him to come and now I know that a lifetime could never possibly be long enough. We have a super busy week ahead with our upcoming birthday celebration next Saturday so I'm sure we'll be worn ragged in no time! He is so excited and I feel like this is the first time he really "gets" that it's his birthday and the day is all about him. Boy is it gonna be fun!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic and relaxing weekend! Thanks for the emails/calls, I assure you all that I will try and do much better about keeping the blog updated!




**I am grateful for
1) all the friends and family that care about us
2) cold weather (w/o rain... yeah!)
3) freshly laundered blankets to snuggle under
4) the pain is letting up
5) that tiny, but oh-so-beautiful flicker on the ultrasound screen

U/S Update!

This is just a quick post from work today to let everyone know that we had our first ultrasound this morning and it looks like we are expecting one little pumpkin!!!! It was too early to see the heartbeat but we could clearly see the yolk sac and they were happy with what they saw. I'll go back on Thursdays and Tuesdays and they figure we'll see the heartbeat towards the end of next week. I'm 5w6d today and the pumpkin measured 8mm (which they said was right on track). I'm feeling better, but still anxious (I guess that's normal????)!

~Kahla

**I am grateful for
1) a great ultrasound
2) hopefully good numbers this afternoon (fear never ends)
3) the really, really bad cramps I had yesterday are gone
4) our little pumpkin
5) our big doodlebug!

Disney World Take 2 - Coming July 2009!!

Disney World happens to be offering an awesome deal right now where you buy four nights, get three free (tickets included)! Duchess, being the awesome grandmother that she is, has made the offer for another wonderful family vacation this summer to the place where dreams come true and we are beyond excited!!! We have made reservations for July of 2009 to spend 8 fun-filled days and 7 awesome nights there. I'm pretty sure I'll still be in the safe-zone to travel pregnancy wise and with 8 days we can go at a pace that is easy for us all. This time it will be the three of us, Duchess, and Madison and we are staying at the Polynesian Resort. Chase is so excited and talks about it constantly. Are we some lucky kids or what?????

~Kahla

**I am grateful for
1) a calm weekend
2) more rain
3) a quiet evening
4) a wonderful vacation to look forward to
5) our Duchess, she is awesome!

An Answered Prayer

I hadn't posted on Wednesday because I really wasn't sure where we were headed, but our number had gone from doubling every 36ish hours to doubling every 77 hours. Talk about a thrill kill. To say I was scared to death is an understatement. The number itself had risen, but only from 569 to 873. When I got the call I was expecting a minimum of 1000 and more like 1300 so I was devastated. All I could think was I can't do this again, I can't lose another child. I won't go into all the details of the last 48 hours because it is NOT pretty, but I'll say it was one of the toughest. This morning an awesome lady, Karen, whom I've never even met in person spent a good 30 minutes on the phone encouraging me, mourning previous losses w/me, and just all together being a wonderful person/friend. She recently went through the same thing and it was nice to talk to someone who has been there. I got in to get my blood work and left feeling completely drained. When I got to the point I could no longer take it anymore I called and got one of my nurse's on the phone who said that my ears must have been burning because she had just gotten my HCG numbers off the machine and didn't even have my other numbers yet. I knew anything less than 1400 was bad news and even 1400 wouldn't be all that promising. My number today was 2288, thank you Jesus!!!! She said everything is OK, looks good, and who knows why it did that. I was scheduled to go back in Monday for my next round of blood work but it looks like we'll be postponing to Tuesday and having our ultrasound at the same time. I am so blessed that our number is back up and I pray that things get even better from here on out!

~Kahla

**I am thankful for
1) an answered prayer
2) our pumpkin, please stay w/us!!!
3) support
4) Karen, thank you so much for this morning
5) Hope, Faith, Love

The "official" BETA and a Molly update!

Molly went to the vet and almost $200 later it turns out that she has either sprained her ACL or has partially ripped it. She's got good meds, instructions to rest, and no jumping/running for two weeks (that should be a challenge) and then she should be back to her regular awesome self! Thank God it wasn't worse!!

I had my "official" beta today and my number came back at 569! That's a doubling rate of 36ish hours! I was told the number is GREAT and I'll go back on Wednesday for more bloodwork. I'll keep going M/W/F and then they'll wean me down. I'm guessing I'll get an ultrasound some time next week. I can't wait!!! We are both scared, but so happy!!!

I'm gonna throw up a poll for everyone to guess if it's one or two (I'll limit it at two since that's what we transferred)! Sending lots of good luck vibes out to all the gals going through ER/ET/BETA's and hoping to hear good news!




**I am grateful for
1) Molly is going to be just fine!
2) rising numbers
3) a great day!
4) inservice (still work, but still almost like a day off)
5) I'll be five weeks on Wednesday!

Prayers for our Molly dog

Molly has been mentioned many times on our blog and has made many appearances. She is our 7 year old miniature English Bull.dog and is just an all-around awesome girl. I think it's safe to say that anyone that meets her falls in love and our lives would not be the same without her. She is Chase's bestbud and has been my faithful companion through every single IVF. She was my baby before I had a baby. Yesterday we spent the day at Jeff's parents and took Molly with us so she could run and play. She was playing Ellie, the lab, chasing a ball and we're not sure what happened but she is hurt. She is putting little to no weight on her back, left leg and is just not her normal, happy self. We'll be taking her in tomorrow and are praying like mad that she is OK. Our poor little Mollers. :o( Please say a prayer that it's nothing major and she'll be back to her normal Mollyself very soon! I have to admit, I'm pretty attached to this little girl!





**I am grateful for
1) we have great vets to take Molly too
2) Molly is hurt, but does not seem to be in too much pain
3) Molly is not worse today than yesterday
4) the test that reads "pregnant"
5) a nice weekend

Knocked Up

Did you happen to notice the title of this post??? If you did, that would be me. Totally, completely, 100% knocked up!!!! BETA today = 142 (BETA Wed. was 72 and since I had no booster and it doubled, well you get the picture). My "official" test day was Monday, but what a sweet Valentine's Day surprise this is!!! After losing the twins we are cautiously optimistic, but right now - I'm on cloud 9! I'll continue to go for bloodwork M/W/F, but in my heart, I just know it's going to be ok this time!!

~ Kahla

**I am grateful for
1) losing the twins was the worst thing I've ever been through, but it sure made me appreciate this moment more
2) that which does not break us, make us stronger
3) all the prayers that have lifted us up and will continue to lift us up during our journey
4) this moment in time
5) the best Valentine's Day ever!

A thanks

Just a quick thank you for all the support ya'll have been showing me. I had bloodwork again yesterday and we did not booster again because things looked good. In my head, I'm back in the right mindset and feeling very positive. I truly believe that come October, we'll be holding a new baby in our arms... our new baby. I've been doing lots of math and lots of comparing of numbers to previous cycles and it just feels good. Your comments mean more than I can say, it's nice to know I'm not alone! (And Becky thanks for that reminder that you had two boosters too since you used Dr. G, you are proof that two boosters didn't necessarily mean bad things!)

~Kahla

**I am grateful for
1) sleeping better last night
2) all my peeps
3) all the prayers
4) dreams can come true
5) the wait is almost over!

A nonupdate update

No news really. I do have stuff to blog about, but I'm so tired that it'll have to wait until another day. I had another round of bloodwork today and will be taking another HCG booster. In both IVFs that I was pregnant I boostered once, in the two IVFs that did not work, I boostered multiple times. So now I'm terrified. My HCG was 21.6, which means nothing because four days ago... I boostered. At this same time last cycle is was mid-20 and we didn't booster. So basically I know nothing more than I did before my bloodwork and I'm so freaking scared. I hate IF.

~Kahla

**I am grateful for
1) no matter what the outcome, we have Chase
2) no matter what the outcome, we are not the kind to give up
3) no matter what the outcome, we have each other
4) no matter what the outcome, God will bless us with another child
5) no matter what the outcome, life will go on

Chase's Party Invite

My rockin' cousin, Randi, once again came to our rescue and made Chase's birthday party invitations. Chase has been set on the theme since last year and all I can say is this girl has some serious talent. This is our third year in a row that she has made our invitations and we have never been disappointed. In return for the invites, we pay their gas to come to the party from MS, which totally rocks because 1) we get to see them and 2) we get super invites!

We are looking at starting a business so if you need invites, just let me know and we can work out a deal! Would you like to guess the theme for this year's party????


Just click on the invite to see the invite in all it's glory. Isn't it totally awesome??!??!?!? And yes, it's a Buzz Lightyear theme just in case you couldn't tell! *wink*




**I am grateful
1) four days of the waiting down (it is four, right)
2) TGIF!
3) great weather at recess today
4) a delicious Mexican dinner w/my boys and Aunt Stacy
5) the weekend, gotta love it

Breaking the Board

Last night Chase tested for his yellow-stripe belt at Tang Soo Do. Since I was on bedrest I wasn't able to make it so Jeff took lots of video and pictures for me. His regular instructor is Miss. Sophia, however Master Don (the owner) came from their other location to administer the tests. While they are in Tiny Tigers the testing is mostly a follow-our-lead kinda thing and fairly simple. Chase is the youngest student in his class and I was terrified he'd be super shy and not want to participate. Turns out after one minor moment that was quickly fixed when Master Don had Daddy come out on the mat to work along-side Chase, all went well. I have several more videos to upload, but here is the best one! Master Don is on the floor and Miss. Sophia can be seen on the left side helping coax Chase along. Note Chase does not have on his glasses, he refused to wear them at Tang Soo Do because a little boy there is obsessed w/them and Chase hates the attention. The video is Chase breaking a board with his foot. In practice they have always used a break-away board, but this was the real thing. Master Don even signed it and Chase got to bring it home. I tried to break it with my hands but it was totally not gonna happen. I was VERY impressed!





**I am grateful for
1) my Tiny Tiger
2) last day of bedrest!!!
3) email
4) my rockin' cousin, Randi, that did Chase's party invite (preview coming soon!!!)
5) sleeping in, haven't done it in ages until this morning.... so nice

I can't believe it, we have totsicles!!!!

Out of our four previous IVFs we have never had totsicles (frozen embies). My RE has stated that fresh cycles are best and being self-pay he preferred fresh cycles for us. Now I'm not saying he refused to freeze for us, I'm just saying we never had any quite make the grade! Turns out IVF #5 has been different and we are now the proud parents of two totsicles that were frozen at blasts!!! I am so excited!!!! I fully expect this cycle to work, but it's kinda reassuring to know they are there!!! (and yes, even if this cycle works we will eventually do a FET, they will not be destroyed)




**I am grateful for
1) a good day
2) one more day of bedrest and I'm done!
3) our totsicles
4) Chase is testing for his yellow stripe belt tonight (but I'm missing it)
5) great weather

2 on 02/02 - The much awaited and anticipated ET post! (yeah, right)

We are home from the ET and resting away! When Dr. G came in to give us the report it broke down like this (love this grading system!) 1 - perfect, fully expanded blast, 2 - very, very nice almost fully expanded blasts, 2 at morulas and almost blasts, and not sure on the remaining 3 (he didn't say so I assume they did not make it). In the past we have transferred 3, 3, 4, and 3 so imagine my surprise when I was told that today we would be transferring only 2! He said these were high quality embryos and he was really worried about triplets and knew we would not reduce so he would not budge on the number. Since I trust him completely (and my plea of we did 3 last time) did not change his mind, two it was. He was right, we would not reduce and since our goal is one healthy baby, I really am totally ok with two (see people, responsible REs do not transfer 8)! He did say the would freeze the remaining blast and watch the morulas to see if they could freeze them, but I'll be shocked if we have any frozen since we haven't out of four previous cycles. I'd love it, but be shocked just the same!

As for our BETA, it's scheduled for two weeks from today so patince is a virtue. However, I feel really confident about this cycle and besides, transferring 2 on 02/02 has to be some extra luck!




***I am grateful for
1) our two babies on board
2) an RE that really does care
3) prayer, hope, luck, whatever it takes
4) bedrest, hate it but it can't hurt
5) the laptop, love it on bedrest

Totally, completely irresponsible (another Oct.uplet post)

I am totally shocked to say this but it turns out the Oct.uplet mom DID do IVF. WTF? I mean SERIOUSLY, WTF????? For an RE to transfer 8 embryos and for a patient to want to transfer 8 embryos is totally, completely irresponsible. That RE should have their license revoked and this chick needs to be put in a mental institute. The whole thing makes me sick. For the record let me say that this is by no means the norm for IVF and is the result of two totally idiotic people. So wrong, in so many ways! And yes I know the article said they implanted (which should read transferred, stupid idiots) far less than 8 but they multiplied - I'd just like to throw out a BS to that one, don't tell me they transferred say 4 and they all split.... again, WTF ever!